We have at least arrived at the last pregenerated character to create for my Monstrous Mishaps quickstart. For those who haven’t been following along, our previous entries were:
- Klaus Kleinmann, the Creep
- Winnie Wurmstein, the Hoarder
- Joachim Yapper, the Jerkass
- Zelda Zoom, the Kluts
- Bradley Bulle, the Loudmouth
For our big finish, we’re going to go traditional and create a Vampire – or a Moocher, as they are less politely known in Monster World. I figure we’ll make her an extremely lazy woman who uses her people skills to trick everyone else into doing stuff for her and prides herself on never having done an honest day’s work in her life. We’ll call her Marissa Mealey.
As a Moocher, Marissa needs to have an addiction to something – Vampires in Monstrous Mishaps don’t need to suck blood, but they do have to have a bad habit of some other kind to be angsty over. We’ll say that Marissa is addicted to expensive custom mattrasses, elaborate massages, acupuncture treatments, and anything else that can help the bad back she claims is keeping her from working.
Marissa obviously needs to be slick to be able to work scams and cons, so we’ll give her Basic (4) Mindgames and Schmoozing. She’s also nowhere to be found where work needs to be done, which includes being vigilant for signs that some is about to be handed out, so we’ll give her Limited (3) Hiding and Keenness. She’s not got much discipline, but she’s very stubborn about not needing to show any discipline, so she’s got Limited (2) Grit. Finally, her interest in traditional medicine for her back and her habit of selling fraudulent products of other sorts have given a smattering of occult knowledge, enough for Limited (2) Weirdness.
For some reason, I immediately imagine Marissa’s parents as taking her camping a lot as a kid, thus teaching her to properly hate everything that wasn’t comfortable and air-conditioned, so we’ll give her the Forced to Go Camping childhood for +1 to Camping. She was actually a convincing outsider in her teens (hey, she is a Vampire!) so she’s got the Freaky Kid adolesence for +1 to Weirdness. These days, she is a small-time confidence trickster by trade, making her a Criminal, so +1 to Hiding. She’s got another +1 to Camping and Schmoozing from her Breed (Vampires are seductive and quite good with “ze children of ze night”), so she ends up with Limited (3) Camping, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Basic (4) Mindgames, Basic (5) Schmoozing, and Limited (3) Weirdness.
As far as Values go, Marissa doesn’t like to ruffle feathers – it’s too much of a bother! She also believes in everyone’s fundamentally equal worth, since that means less pressure to do stuff. Thus, she holds to Harmony and Egalitarianism.
For Monstrosity and Dooms, I think I’ll punch it up to the max and give Marissa Basic (5) Monstrosity right from the start. After all, her lack of ambition is unlikely to have granted her any material success, but she’s great at looking dark and mysterious and Vampire-like. I’ll sink the points into Basic (4) Siren’s Voice to make it easier for her to make herself seem trustworthy, and put the last point into Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity – maybe being good at imitating animal sounds will impress some people who’ll think she’s One With Nature or some such?
All told, here’s Marissa:
MARISSA MEALEY
Breed: Moocher
Childhood: Forced to Go Camping
Adolescence: Freaky Kid
Adulthood: CriminalValues: Harmony, Egalitarianism
Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Basic (4) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Basic (5) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness
Derived Abilities: Basic (4) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness
Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Basic (5) Monstrosity, Basic (5) Pretension, Minimal (1) Respectability
Dooms: Basic (4) Siren’s Voice, Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity
Pools: HP 6, GP 7, SP 6, BP 1, FP 5
For her first Friend, we’ll pick the Stereotype, Problem and Discord at random – I think we’ve used pretty much every single one at this point anyway. We’ll go with Alpha, Occult Lightning Rod and High Maintenance, a combination that makes me think of some sort of pushy nightmare customer, a retail person’s bad day incarnate.
MARISSA’S FRIEND #1: THERESE TELLER
Therese is Marissa’s only repeat customer, a woman always in the market for some new dodgy food supplement or pyramid energy regimen. That makes her quite handy for Marissa, but the downside is that the reason why Therese is so anxious for anything to make her life better is that her life is preternaturally bad. A dark cloud of inexplicable misfortune always seems to be hovering over her head, cursing her with odd ailments and strange maladies. She’s happy to accept Marissa’s cures for them… but she’ll also come pounding on Marissa’s door whenever they invariably fail to work, forcing the Moocher to improvise madly to keep the money flowing.
Stereotype: Alpha
Problem: Occult Lightning Rod
Discord: High MaintenanceValues: Harmony
Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Limited (2) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness
Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness
Special Abilities: Basic (5) Respectability
Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 5
For the second Friend, we’ll pick Romantic, Paper Tiger, and You’re Not the Boss of Me. That gives us someone who’s hot-blooded and warm-hearted, but perhaps a bit soft-headed as well…
MARISSA’S FRIEND #2: PEPPER LOVEGOOD
Marissa’s long-time best friend Pepper is on a quest for true love, something that confuses Marissa, since love seems like the definition of doing a bunch of bothersome stuff for no particular reward. This cynical viewpoint has not been helped by her having had a front row seat to Pepper’s dismal taste in men, most of whom have indeed been ne’er-do-wells who have emptied her wallet, enlisted her in their projects, and cheated vigorously on her all the while. Getting Pepper to realise that her latest romance is just as unhealthy as the last tends to strain even Marissa’s skills at argumentation, however.
Stereotype: Romantic
Problem: Paper Tiger
Discord: You’re Not the Boss of MeValues: Stoicism, Egalitarianism, Justice
Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (5) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Limited (2) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness
Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1), Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (3) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Basic (4) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness
Special Abilities: Basic (5) Respectability
Pools: HP 7, GP 2, SP 4, BP 5
For Marissa’s Rival, let’s go with a Deadbeat (think a stoner-slacker Zombie) who resents Marissa for having it much easier than her. I figure that she’ll be hanging around and staring creepily at Marissa through windows like some kind of haunting ghost, all while looking to “steal her life” in some vaguely defined way. We’ll pick the Approach of Shadow, the Feud of Destined and the Redemption of Tragedy for her.
MARISSA’S RIVAL: SALLY SLOUCH
Sally grew up in miserable poverty and had to work very hard to get anywhere in life. This makes her intensely resentful of Marissa, who, while also miserably poor, seems to manage to avoid working at all. Having been told by a less-than-trustworthy fortuneteller that there will come a time when their fates can be exchanged, Sally is now plotting to bring the right occult conditions about so that she can become the slacker and Marissa the wage-slave… at least when she’s not too tired to plot.
Approach: Shadow
Feud: Destined
Redemption: TragedyBreed: Deadbeat
Values: Tradition, Utilitarianism
Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Basic (7) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness
Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Basic (4) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness
Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability
Dooms: Minimal (1) Ancient’s Wisdom, Minimal (1) Revenant’s Miasma, Minimal (1) Titan’s Prowess
Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 3, FP 3
For Marissa’s Enemy, we’ll turn her stats inside-out as usual, and we end up with someone with decent Scores at Asskicking and Paperpushing, the two Legend Abilities for the Dweeb Legend. Dweebs, you see, are a kind of Slayers who like to think that they’re Paladins, so they punch you very hard in the face, but only when it’s legally justifiable. Well, a devoted crusader out to get a Vampire? That gives you a rather obvious idea, I should think.
MARISSA’S ENEMY: ABIGAIL VAN HECKNING
A petulant suburban brat of the first order, Abigail always longed for a life of adventure, Gothic romance, and having a proper excuse for hanging out in graveyards. As such, it’s perhaps no surprise that she was Called as a Slayer, and she has taken to it with gusto. She is determined to put an end to Marissa’s cursed unlife, but of course she has to figure out a way to do it that won’t get her into, you know, trouble of any kind – otherwise, her parents would ground her! Still, she’s confident that if she just hangs around and bugs Marissa enough, she’ll eventually end up in a situation where pounding an oak stake through someone’s heart will qualify as “reasonble self-defense.”
Legend: Dweeb
Values: Stoicism, Excellence
Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (4) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Basic (4) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness
Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness
Special Abilities: Basic (4) Calling, Basic (6) Respectability
Pools: HP 7, GP 2, SP 4, BP 6
That’s it! We now have four full-feathered Monsters to send into the maws of adventure, along with supporting casts to anchor them into the setting. Now I just need to figure out some kind of scenario that could accomodate any particular subset of them. Stay tuned.
Mister Monster's Workshop 
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