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  • Cyberpunk 2013

    I’ve been too listless to finish another character this week, so let’s take another nostalgic dive into the past instead. This time, let’s look at another grand old game, Mike Pondsmith’s Cyberpunk from back in 1988. For one that was never in the big leagues, it’s actually doing pretty well for itself even today – there’s been a big-budget video game that seems to be pretty well-liked (once they fixed all the bugs, at least) and an anime Netflix show. It ain’t Shadowrun, but that’s the price you pay for taking yourself halfway seriously when your target audience are all about making a complete mockery of everything.

    Here’s how old this game is: it came in a box.

    In the box are three slender little volumes: one for rules, one for settings, and one for combat rules, though all three are honestly spread sort of haphazardly through all three books.

    RULES: VIEW FROM THE EDGE

    The rules book, View From the Edge, starts out with a cursory description of the setting (see whatI mean) and what it means to be a cyberpunk. Basically, it’s the distant future of 2013 and technology has taken such a huge leap that most people can’t keep up – cybernetics, human/machine interfaces, artificial tissues and orbital stations are commonplace, and that has made most people so overwhelmed that they just sit back and let governments and corporations (insofar as there is a difference anymore) have their way with them. But not you, for you are a cyberpunk! You embrace the metal! You charge full thrust into the future! And you’re probably going to die horribly in a futile bid to make your mark on an uncaring world, but by golly you’ll look awesome doing it!

    So that’s basically the mission statement here. Look cool, stand up and be counted, and never ever play it safe. Heh. That might just be the exact opposite to my personal way of life, but okay, I can dig it in theory.

    We’re also given the nine basic character classes right away: rockers, solos (who are assassins or mercenaries), netrunners (hackers), techies, medias (journalists), cops, corporates, fixers (wheelers and dealers) and nomads (your rootless bikers roaming the land). The presentation of them all felt a little confusing to me the first time I read it, since they all seem framed to be idealistic crusaders of one sort or another, while the game seems to be more about an amoral quest for getting more money. But, knowing a little more of the genre now, I think I get it – you’re supposed to have some ideals that you want to chase, but you also have to keep yourself fed, and you’re meant to be angsty and tormented about the conflict between the two. I think in a modern game that would have been better explained, but this was ’88 and the unspoken assumption was still that you were going to get most of your narrative direction from fiction.

    Having chosen your class, you then roll for how many character points you get and distribute them over your nine main stats: Intelligence, Reflexes, Cool, Technical Ability, Luck, Attractiveness, Movement Allowance, Body Type and Empathy. You also get skills, but those are gained through a quirky lifepath system where you choose and roll for various parts of your upbringing and background, and get to pick up some skills depending on what you end up with – for instance, if you grew up on the street, served a stint in the military, got a formal education, and so on. You also roll for a special incident for every year of your adult life, which can result in you gaining enemies, connections, extra money, heartbreaks, and such things.

    I like it in theory – you can see how it’s meant to set up a checkered past with lost loves, friends in unexpected places, simmering resentments, and all the sort of things that a cyberpunk character definitely ought to have. I do feel it’s a little barebones, though. It kind of assumes you’re really familiar with the setting, so that you can come up with characters and situations in it on the fly. Great if you’re very into the genre or if you’ve played the game before, but a bit harder if you’re me and you’ve read maybe one or two William Gibson books and watched Johnny Mnemonic and that’s about it.

    Then, of course, there’s the main event: cybernetics! You’ve got a bunch of gear you can bolt onto your feeble human form. Cybernetic eyes for seeing into the infrafred spectrum, reflexes boosters that pump up your all-important REF stat, chipware that lets you gain the basics of a skill you don’t naturally have, interface plugs that lets you become one with your gun or your car… You’re limited partly by your starting funds (which you can double by selling your soul to a crime syndicate, corporation, or the army!), partly by the fact that each piece of cyberware adds to a tally that permanently reduces your EMP stat, with EMP 0 resulting in “cyberpsychosis” and needing to make a new character. Which does, funnily enough, make EMP something you need lots of if you want to play a stone-cold cyborg – not because you’ll be using it, but because the amount of cyberware you can handle is capped by how high it started out.

    I do feel a little like cyberware is underpowered, both compared to how powerful it tends to be in fiction, and how much the game is meant to center on it. Is it really worth crippling your stats for a +2 to some very specific rolls? But then, I guess I’m probably just not being cyberpunk enough. Form over function, attitude is everything, live on the edge – you’re supposed to rip out parts of your living brain just so that you can take phone calls in your head, because that’s how you show that you’re a complete badass who don’t give a shit, man!

    Next up are rules for running around the Net. You basically have a program that interprets the stuff you run into when hacking a database or whatever, so that you see it as a fantasy dungeon, a Noir city, or a glowy Tron-style virtual universe. You go in carrying a selection of programs that you can throw out like spells to do things like smash through a door or defeat defensive software. You’re limited to five programs, but you can cheat by loading a bunch of them into a “demon” which counts as a single program but gradually deteriorates every time you use it. Pretty cool and flavourful, though I don’t know if it’d work well as a mini-game – a lot of the rules feel like you just roll repeatedly to pass an obstacle until you succeed. But I guess you could probably spice it up with enemy netrunners and the likes.

    Also, the text notes breathlessly that a haul from a netrunning operation might consist of… an entire Megabyte of data!!!! Which, considering that my folder of roleplaying PDFs has reached 85 Gigabytes from my obsessive hoarding is… a little bit funny, I feel.

    Last part of the rules are about medicine. Most notably, a sensible professional will sign up for a Trauma Team subscription! That means that whenever you flatline, a flying ambulance shows up and scoops you up to try to revive you, if necessary gunning down whomever caused you to flatline in the first place. That’s… kind of awesome. There are also some notes on street drugs, but it’s kind of anemic given how much drug use is part of the genre – I think they were worried about moral guardians if they seemed to promote it.

    SETTING: WELCOME TO NIGHT CITY

    The world book, Welcome to Night City, starts out with a timeline, which is… honestly so forgettable that I have trouble even grasping enough of it to describe here. But basically, there have been a couple of South American wars with cybernetically enhanced super-soldiers, Europe is back on top of the world and America is in the crapper (mua ha! Mua ha! I smirk over my over-priced cappuccino!), the Middle East is a radioactive wasteland and most cars run on alcoholic fuels created from genetically engineered super-crops, there are lunar colonies and space stations, and corporations have their own militaries who sometimes go to war against each other.

    Funnily enough, every part of the world that isn’t the US seems to be doing pretty well – as near as I can tell, the writers felt like it made the future more depressing if all us other riffraff were thriving while the Land of the Free collapsed… The Soviet Union has made a comeback, Europe is going strong, Africa and South America are getting their act together, Japan and China are coming into their own. Of course, those places are presumably also run by ruthless megacorporations, so it ain’t that rosy, but still.

    In America, though, cities are divided into the corporate-controlled business areas and suburbs, which have a private police force and things are relatively quiet, and the Combat Zones, where poor people live, violent crime is omnipresent, and everything is generally kind of crap. Outside the cities are mostly a lot of ghost towns and corporate-run farmland, and nomadic caravans are traveling around trying to scratch out a living by means fair and foul.

    Laws have gotten a lot more rough-and-tumble. The cops can and will gun you down. On the other hand, you can gun down anyone who tries to mess with you. Lots of gunning down going on. Old-fashioned drugs are illegal, but genetically engineered crop failures have mostly destroyed the production of them anyway, and the sort of designer drugs that corporations sell are, conveniently, not considered “drugs” drugs and therefore legal. Prisons are overcrowded and prisoners are mostly crammed into cryo-tanks for the duration of their sentence, meaning that they spend all that time semi-conscious and having nightmares. Okay, that’s genuinely sort of horrifying.

    Vehicles are stil mostly regular cars, but short-distance flying cars exist, mostly as emergency vehicles. Trains run on “maglev” tracks, hovering on a cushion of magnetic force to remove friction.

    Communications is where the game shows its age. The fax machine is still state of the art, and people read newspapers by having the pages they are interested in faxed to their home or to a public outlet (futuristic!). Cell phones exist but are of course giant bricks with antennas at the end.

    Game Master advice! Cyberpunk is meant to have a ton of grim ambience, so make sure that it features a lot of garbage-strew back streets, bodies in the gutter, deranged down-and-outs, and brutal firefights. Also, it’s always raining. Always. Or at the bare minimum, it should look like it’s about to.

    Of course, the rich don’t live like that – they dwell in disgusting opulence, with armed guards standing ready to throw out anyone who they don’t want to look at anymore. Play up the contrast.

    Furthermore, morality should be shady. Sworn enemies might get thrown together. Getting anywhere requires cutting some corners and compromising your values. This is the part that I think could have used a little more squaring with the assumption in the rules book that players will be heroic crusaders against the evil corporate tyrants, but okay, I think I get it. There are bad guys, but in order to have a chance to get at them, you’re going to have to give up a lot of that moral high ground. Everyone gets a little muddy just from wading through the muck.

    The book acknowledges the problem with the classes, which is that they don’t really fit naturally together – a cop on the edge, a nomadic biker, a corporate sell-out and a rebellious rock star aren’t just going to naturally form an adventuring party. It suggests a few combinations that might work, but basically, you need to center the team on one kind of scene, then play fast-and-loose with the classes that don’t really fit into it so they do. E.g., if the team is a police squad, then the “fixer” might be the shadier sort of cop who’s in bed with half the criminals he’s supposed to be stopping. Since your class doesn’t actually influence which skills you can take (all it really gets you is one particular special skill), that works out fairly well.

    There’s a map of Night City, which is the default setting for the game. A lot of landmarks are written out, but the only ones who get any sort of description are the seedy bars. That possibly tells you something about where the focus of the game is meant to be…

    There is a short story to demonstrate the setting, called Never Fade Away, which concerns a Rocker (Johnny Silverhand, who is effectively the face of the franchise) whose Netrunner girlfriend gets kidnapped by a corporation so she can build a brain-frying Net program for them. So he recruits a crusading Media, his Solo ex-girlfriend and her Nomad partner to launch a rescue, but in the end all they manage to accomplish is sabotage the Netrunner’s own plan to free herself so that she ends up with her brain uploaded in the Net and no way to return to her body. It offers some helpful stats for the various characters, with the implication that you can run this as a sample adventure. I guess it’s flavourful enough. Oh, and they apparently really liked the picture of a cyborg girl in lingerie, because they reused the same one to mark the start of the next chapter.

    There’s a chapter on how corporations work, most of which is pretty unexciting stuff about corporate structure and what the different positions mean. That’s… probably something you need to know if you’re running a game in a world where corporate executes are effectively royalty, yes, but it’s not really sexy. Anyway, the corporations can do pretty much whatever they want now, the governments have given up on controlling them. Also, they have private armies, and ninjas. Because it’s 1988, and conventional wisdom is that Everything Needs More Ninjas.

    There’s a looooong list of major corporations and their exact military assets. Again, good to know, definitely would be using this as setting detail, but none of it really stands out.

    The book closes with a random sprinkling of flavour – information on a couple of different bands (all of which are POLITICAL!!!, because again, it’s 1988 and being angry about stuff is considered edgy and rebellious. As opposed to today, when it’s just considered mandatory… Sigh. I make myself sad), a couple of different nomad caravans (the Crazy Quilts are disgruntled combat vets, who came back from the wars to find nothing waiting for them; the Huskers are farmers who have been driven off their land by corporations), a copule of different street gangs (the Blood Razors are mad, bad and crazy and big on cybernetic claws; the Iron Sights are patsies for the Arasaka Corporation). There is also a deranged cult who go around killing cyborgs. Finally, there are some kind of funny reports from a Trauma Team operative, which includes things like resuscitating a client, charging him for it, have him violently object to the price tag, needing to take him down in self-defense, resuscitating him from said take-down, and adding the extra cost to his bill. Heh!

    COMBAT: FRIDAY NIGHT FIREFIGHT

    The combat book is called Friday Night Firefight. The rules are apparently modified from a game called Mekton which seems to be about giant robots punching each other. Sounds kind of cool, but I hadn’t heard of it before – I guess it didn’t stand the test of time as well.

    It starts out with telling us that this system is super-gritty and deadly! Try to be a hero, and you’ll get stuck with a Trauma Team bill. I feel like there is a bit of tension between a high-lethality system and the expected playstyle of never playing it safe because that’s not the cyberpunk way… I mean, I get that what they mean is that you should take insane risks even though you might die, because you’re a complete badass who don’t give a shit, man, but I think players would probably get less committed to that ethos after losing a character or three.

    Anyway, combat is played in rounds, every round has four phases, and you get to act in between one or four of them depending on how high your REF is (four actions require you to have near-maximum REF and also to have a cybernetic reflex booster). When you shoot at someone, you roll REF+weapon skill and the target rolls REF+Athletics, and if you roll higher you hit and roll damage. The shooter gets a bonus for the accuracy of the gun and for spending extra actions aiming, the target gets a bonus for range (which ranges are relevant depends on the gun as well), and for things like being in cover or in motion. Hit and you roll damage depending on the range and caliber of bullets, adding the amount by which you exceeded the defender’s roll. From that, you subtract armour, and then you compare what’s left to a table that depends on your Body Type, and it determines whether you scored a Flesh Wound (which effectively does nothing), a Serious Wound (which might cramp your style), a Critical Wound (which is going to hurt), a Mortal Wound (puts you down and you’re dying) or an Instantly Mortal Wound (puts you down and you’re dead, dead, dead). Each type worse than Flesh Wound gradually worsens to the next level if left unattended for a certain amount of time, so you’ll want to get some first aid. Also, if you take a wound worse than a Flesh Wound when you already have a wound worse than a Flesh Wound, the wounds add up to one that’s worse than both.

    Okay, that’s… going to take a lot of flipping back and forth. Also, is this actually as lethal as all that? I feel like if you’re wearing body armour, you’re going to be wading through handgun fire without a care in the world and it’ll take a high-caliber rifle to put you down. Not sure if that is realistic or not, but it does mean that in certain situations the system becomes irrelevant – it will just consistently spit out the same result. Also, certain characters are going to be impossible to hit for certain other characters, even at point blank range, since the sum of your dodge bonus can easily rise so high that a poor marksman can’t hit even with the best possible result.

    Automatic weapons have their own rules variation, and they are terrifying. Like, hefty penalty to dodge, one hit per point that the attack roll exceeds the dodge roll terrifying. Once those come into play, things have indeed taken a turn for the gory… though again, a high-level Solo can probably dance right through a machine gun burst from a raw recruit.

    Healing, finally, takes time. The advanced medical technology of the futuristic year of 2013, which has fancy tricks like cloned transplant organs and spray-on skin, does speed things up a little, though you’re still looking at weeks of convalescence.

    SO, WHAT DO I THINK?

    Well… I must admit myself a bit charmed. It’s all very rough, very much a game in the early tradition of “scribble down our personal notes all willy-nilly, then package it as a game.” But it’s got a raw appeal to it, precisely because it feels like something that’s meant to work rather than look pretty (even if I suspect that there are some things that don’t work especially well). As near as I can tell from my admittedly shallow knowledge of cyberpunk, it does present the genre fairly effectively, with its ever-shaky balance between raging against the machine and wanting to join with it, between wanting to be superhuman and fearing to become inhuman.

    I don’t know. I do plan to keep reading, though. I’ve just had to take a break before the first published supplement, because it was a conversion to Walter Jon Williams’ Hardwired setting. So now I have to read that 520-page novel so I can properly understand that 98-page roleplaying supplement. Yes, sometimes I do think I’m a bit weird.

  • Vampire: the Masquerade first edition – this is where the madness started

    Having recently embarked on a quest to read every single book for every single tabletop roleplaying game that has ever interested me even one little bit, it was of course inevitable that Vampire: the Masquerade would be one of the first ones. It’s the first and most defining World of Darkness game, and I’m of course a huge World of Darkness nerd. I mean, not to blow your mind, or anything, but I am.

    Thing is, though, that Vampire was always the one WoD game I could never work up any enthusiasm for. I used to hate Werewolf: the Apocalypse with a fiery burning passion, but it at least made me feel something (and I ultimately made my peace with it – look, you can work around the stupid parts and focus on the nice, wholesome ripping-mutants-to-shreds action!). Vampire just felt like a waste of space. I read a few books, if only to mine for antagonist ideas for the other games I ran, but I never took to it.

    Now, having read the very first few books of the very first edition, I have to say… okay! I finally see what all the fuss was about!

    For those who don’t know (and one of my friends recently told me that her DM was unaware that there were other roleplaying games than D&D until she informed him otherwise, so I guess some people actually don’t know), Vampire: the Masquerade is a game first published in the 90s where you play… well… a vampire. Who has to hide his true vampiric nature from the world. Like in a masquerade. Again, not to blow your mind or anything.

    Anyway, it was huge. Like, it was so huge that for a time, it didn’t just compete with D&D, it was bigger than D&D – a feat that no other roleplaying game has even come close to rivalling before or since. It has been mimicked and analysed and argued over with a meticulous zeal that only artsy nerds can equal. There was a well-regarded video game. There was an ill-regarded TV show. Even today, it’s not quite dead, just sort of… in torpor. Much of modern game design can trace a descent to Vampire, if only by being created by people who were so annoyed by Vampire‘s many flaws that they resolved to create something better.

    Vampires, in this game, are humans who have had their blood drained by another vampire and fed some of it back, causing them to rise from the grave. The first vampire was supposedly the Biblical Caine, though he’s not around anymore so no one is exactly sure. Each generation of vampires (with Caine being the single member of the first generation, and most vampires created in the modern night being somewhere between the eighth and the thirteenth) are a little weaker than the one before, with the only way to increase your effective generation to kill by feeding another vampire with lower generation than you. They lack most traditional weaknesses, except for sunlight, which does indeed cause them to spontaneously combust.

    There are thirteen clans, each with its own set of special vampire powers (called Disciplines), and each being a sort of cross between a type of movie vampire and a type of high school Goth. The Brujah are rebellious bikers with strong political opinions, the Ventrue are snooty aristocrats who aren’t very good at moving with the times, the Toreador (yes, really – did I mention that a lot of things about this game are goofy as hell, despite taking themselves 110% seriously?) are pretentious arteests, the Nosferatu are creepy deformed monsters who lurk in the sewers, the Gangrel are feral shapeshifters who lurk in the woods… Everyone has their own shtick and look down their noses on everyone else.

    Drinking a vampire’s blood on three separate nights, even if you’re a vampire yourself, makes you “blood bound” – effectively, you fall head over heels in love and will do anything for them. Humans who drink vampire blood without first being drained of their own become “ghouls,” which means they stop aging and get some minor Disciplines for as long as they still have vampire blood in their system. Needless to say, vampires tend to keep blood bound ghouls as servants and bodyguards.

    The vampires of a city are usually ruled over by a vampire called a “Prince,” along with a bunch of elder vampires called “the Primogen.” The Prince and the Primogen enforce, first and foremost, three rules: a vampire may not kill another vampire except by the Prince’s permission, a vampire may not create another vampire except by the Prince’s permission, and a vampire may not reveal the existence of vampires to the humans under any circumstances whatsoever.

    That’s about the basics, that have stayed more or less constant throughout all the editions of the game (we are up to the fifth, with the first three being during the WoD’s prime in the 90s and early 00s and the last two being a latter-day nostalgic revival). So what’s different here that made me change my opinion on the whole game?

    Well… for a start, it’s pretty.

    That’s really a huge thing. What put me off Vampire for the longest time was how drearily, unrelentingly ugly it was. In all the books I read, vampires were portrayed as, effectively, icky walking corpses who went around doing crappy things while serving no purpose. Every line in every book was filled with a sort of snide, smirking disgust. Everything was crap, especially you, and shame on you if you tried to make anything at all enjoyable. My constant reaction was, “… why would I want to play this thing that is intend on making me feel bad?”

    First edition, though? First edition is different. Not in any one particular detail, mind. Vampires are still skeevy and self-indulgent. They still leave corpses behind. They still lie and cheat and fight vicious feuds for exceedingly petty reasons. They do all those things.

    But damn, they look awesome doing them!

    It’s all in the presentation. Third edition and onwards all seemed to hate their subject matter. First edition clearly loves it. The betrayals, the obsessions, the degeneracy, the hatred and the pride, the failures and the humiliations… all are described in glowing, operating terms. This is a game of beautiful damnation, of reveling in your romantic guilt. Blood isn’t just some sordid crack metaphor, it’s every forbidden pleasure, every carnal desire made red and glistening and deliciously lurid. You shouldn’t have it, you’re bad for wanting it… but it would taste sooooo goooooood!

    I guess part of the reason why Vampire always rubbed me the wrong way was that it remained the only game about playing amoral characters in a set of games that, as time went on and the gleeful grimdark of the 90s shifted closer and closer to the sanctimonious outrage of the aughts, became more and more about moralising. It’s weird, given that Vampire always remained the flagship game, but it was kind of left behind in terms of tone. Every other game gave you a cause to fight for, bad guys who you should feel great about gunning down because they were bad. Vampire only made sense as part of a setting where no one was innocent and the closest thing to “goodness” was accepting your dark side enough to keep it in check. When the vampires explicitly existed in a world that ran on objective and tangible Good and Evil, they no longer looked like dashing Byronic antiheroes straddling the divide between sublime virtue and sordid vice. They just looked like lackluster posers, too dull and emotionally stunted to bother choosing a side.

    I think, on the whole, that the exact incurious self-righteousness that I complained about at length in my Aberrant readthrough (not a World of Darkness product, but made by the same people) was, as it were, the stake through Vampire‘s heart. No one actually wanted to keep making the sort of “I’m a bad, bad man, I hate myself, I should be dead, and ohhhhh! – isn’t that just so romantic?!” game that it was originally (and explicitly; another thing to love about this version is, it actually states what it’s trying to convey instead of having “hidden themes” that you’re supposed to unravel on your own) designed to be, but it was still the most popular one. So they kept shoveling out books for it, and filling them all with finger-wagging about how we should in no way sympathise with the vampires because they were bad, unlike werewolves/mages/hunters/demons (yes, even the freaking demons from hell were holier than thou at that point!) who were good and fighting for a righteous cause just like you should be doing, why are you not out there saving the whales?!

    Yeah… let’s just say I liked how they started out a lot better than how they ended up. Not to lie, here: back in the late 90s, I was absolutely one of the people who were sick of grimdark and clamouring for morally uplifting messages. It’s just that having since learned the fruits of self-righteous people running rampant, I have gotten nostalgic for some honest amorality.

    But, let’s try to back up a bit and give you something resembling an actual readthrough rather than my fanboy gushing and ranting…

    THE ACTUAL READTHROUGH

    The book starts out with a letter from a vampire to a human he had previously victimised, in which he claims to try to make up for his actions by revealing the truth about vampires, their nature and their society. Also, the vampire is not-so-subtly implied to be the actual Count Dracula and the human Mina Harker. Which is, er… a choice.

    But, aside from the blatant use of public domain characters that don’t really fit very well with the game, I actually love the opening. It sets the tone, presenting the narrator as someone who is monstrous enough to have done terrible things but still human enough to want to somehow make up for them… and it also has a disturbing undertone to it that lends it some extra delicacy. After all, the good count has clearly been watching Mina from afar, brooding on his sins and wallowing in guilt, and having the passionate regard of a self-confessed monster who is prone to unplanned crimes of passion is… perhaps not entirely comfortable.

    That’s very much the game, the way it started out – the romance, the tragedy, and the subtle (subtle, please note!) post-modern deconstruction of them both. In contrast, the introduction to the third edition was narrated by what I can only describe as a smirking douchebag actively trying to be a shit to the woman he was talking to. It… made for a less compelling argument for continuing to read.

    After that, we get a brief description of vampires (from a more clinical, out-of-character perceptive) and of the fairly straightforward rules. In brief, you roll a pool of between 1 and 10 d10s and each die that equals or exceeds a difficulty between 2 and 10 is a success. Each 1 you roll cancels out a success. If you roll more 1s than successes, you botch and something bad happens. For a simple action, you just roll, and if you get 1 success you muddle through but more successes might give you some kind of perks or bennies. For an extended action, you need a particular number of successes, but you can keep rolling until you’ve acquired them, at the cost of spending more time and risking a botch. For a contested action, you and another character both roll, and whomever gets more successes win. Not an amazing system, some improvements do suggest themselves, but simple and solid enough. Stay tuned to hear how they proceeded to mess it up (yes, sadly that happens already later in this same book!).

    We also get the first few of a series of… well, call them old-fashioned cartoons, I guess, that runs through the book, each one consisting of a picture along with a few lines of narration. Put together, they tell the story of a vampire named Shelzza who lived in some ancient (Sumerian?) city and formed a mutual blood bond with the vampire who ruled it, allowing them to be in something resembling “love” to each other. To summarise, he was killed by a peasant uprising, she slept through the ages and woke up in modern times where she got it into her head that a random dude was her king reborn. She stalked him and turned him into a vampire, which he was horrified by, and he eventually killed her and thus became human again.

    That’s a thing in this edition, by the way. It’s called Rebirth, and it can be achieved in a couple of different (and all rather unreliable) ways. Killing your sire soon after your own embrace is indeed one of them. Add it to the list of things I’m sorry they dropped in later editions; for one thing, if vampirism was actually theoretically curable (albeit not with any certainty, and never without considerable difficulty), it’d give Hunters of the Redeemer Creed something to actually do. Oh well.

    Anyway, I really love that story and how it sets the tone. Shelzza is a monster, and not entirely sane – the story makes both things very clear. But you still get to see it from her perspective, and you feel sorry for her when she dies. Likewise, her relationship to her king is explicitly artificial and a bit disturbing, but that doesn’t make it inherently worthless. Vampires live outside of nature, they get nothing without breaking some kind of rule, without brute-force something that should be organic. But they can still value the things they have and cry out in anguish when they lose them, and that gives them agency and dramatic weight.

    The book continues with character creation, which is about what I’m used to – you have nine basic Attributes, a bunch more Abilities, and you assign dots to them so that you have between 0 and 5 in each one. To that, you can add Backgrounds, which are a sort of catch-all for traits that are more conditions you live under than inherent aptitudes – for instance, Resources determine how wealthy you are, and Generation determines, well, what generation you are.

    Clans and Disciplines are about what I’ve already briefly covered, except that here, there is some blessed simplicity – only seven clans are detailed, and only ten Disciplines. I love that, most of the extra Disciplines that got added over time were crap anyway. Also, Thaumaturgy (blood magic, basically) looks actually useful instead of being the boring point-sink that it’s been in every later edition I’ve seen.

    Also, the clans are more comfortably stereotypical, without the later editions’ frantic insistances that “vampire are all, like, individuals, man!” Case in point, Nosferatu don’t all have unique deformities, they’re all pale and bald with pointy ears and fangs, deal with it. I mean, okay, I get why they drifted away from that over time, it probably would get a bit samey eventually, but… it’s a lot easier to just come up with a character in a hurry when you have solid archetypes to draw on.

    Also, with vampires not being inherently worthless and subhuman, some of the clans work a lot better. Like, the Brujah being idealistic crusaders never made any sense in light of later editions’ presentation of vampires as completely and inherently selfish and despicable. Here, because the explicit premise is that everyone is culpable and that that doesn’t completely invalidate their virtues, the Brujah don’t look like hypocrites for claiming to want a better political system. Sure, they’re probably a bit self-serving about it, but everyone is a bit self-serving about everything, and to some extent they really do want justice and equality and all that good stuff, just as long as they get to snack on people a little on the side. Hey, it’s better than someone who doesn’t want justice and equality and still wants to snack on people, you know?

    Special vampire rules! Vampires can keep a certain amount of magical mojo in their bodies at the time, called Blood Points, which are replenished by drinking blood, natch. Blood Points can be used to speed-heal injuries, though it’s still a little too slow for you to use it in a fight – it’s more something you use to restore yourself to full health after the fight has ended. Also, you can give yourself bonuses to physical actions for the duration of a scene (about 20 minutes) by spending Blood Points. Notably, it does not seem like you have to stop and concentrate to do that – you can only spend 1 Blood Point per turn, but it seems like you can do it and perform an action too. Which means that if a vampire starts with a full belly, he’ll get progressively more dangerous the longer a fight goes on. That’s kind of cool, and different from how I remember it working in later editions (where you basically had to know a fight was coming so you could hulk out in advance). Also, you have to spend a Blood Point to wake up every night, so the clock is always ticking – faster if you do a lot of crazy action stunts, slower if you restrict yourself to mere human ability, but it never stops, ever.

    Vampires are subject to frenzies, where they go nuts in one way or another. When they feed while very hungry (that is, while having very few Blood Points currently in their system), they have to roll to avoid a Madness Frenzy where they basically try to guzzle every last drop of blood they can get to (which is not good news for whomever they were already feeding on). When they’re in some way bullied or humiliated, or a companion is threatened, they have to roll to avoid a Rage Frenzy, where they try to kill everything in sight. When exposed to fire or sunlight, or otherwise in severe danger, they have to roll to avoid a Terror Frenzy, where they can just run and hide until it wears off. Either way, the GM takes control of the character for the duration.

    In lieu of rolling to avoid the frenzy, a vampire can decide to “ride the wave.” If she does, then she does go into a frenzy but she retains some control – she can spend Willpower points (which is the other kind of personal currency characters in this game have) to ignore the frenzy for one turn per point. Which isn’t much, but at least you can avoid doing something completely unforgivable. However, you still have to roleplay the frenzy, and if the GM thinks you’re not doing so, he’ll just dock you Willpower points for them. If you run out of Willpower points, he takes over your characters as in a regular frenzy.

    If you try to resist a frenzy and botch the roll, you gain a Derangement which is sort of like a mental illness except usually based on a pop-culture-based misapprehension of how that particular illness actually works. That’s a bit of a problem in other games, where the same Derangements are used to reflect actual mental illnesses… but here, I feel like it’s a lot more okay, since hey, they’re not regular mental illnesses, they’re ways that the vampire mind breaks down under stress, and who’s to say how vampire minds work? Anyway, Derangements work under the same principle as riding the wave – you have to roleplay them, and every time the GM thinks you’re failing to do so, you lose a Willpower point, and once you have no more Willpower points the GM takes over your character.

    This… is actually pretty good. This looks actually playable, in ways that the version in third or fourth edition never really did (fifth edition has a brand new one that I think is a lot better, but I think I prefer this one even over that one). It really brings forth the themes of the game more elegantly – you need to decide how much compromise to make with your feral impulses, because they are always stronger than you and if you try to complete repress them you’ll lose and they’ll run wild. It all does rely on there being a workable Willpower economy, with well-defined ways of regaining Willpower, which I think is not really the case in this or any other edition, so that’s a shame. Still, it seems like a wonderfully solid system.

    Humanity is another special vampire stat, which measures how much morality you’ve managed to hold on to. If you do something like kill or steal, you have to roll to feel bad. No, really, that sounds like the kind of joke you’d make about this game, but it’s literally a thing. If you fail the roll, then you feel great about your hideous crime. And that’s a problem, because it means that another little piece of your conscience has died, and thus your Humanity goes down. Humanity function as a cap for some of your rolls, like empathy-based ones and any that you make during daylight hours, so the lower your Humanity, the more you become a heartless monster who is effectively a lifeless corpse when the sun is in the sky. Avoiding that is effectively the goal of the game.

    Golconda is a sort of vampire nirvana that can be reached at the end of a long and complicated road. It isn’t the same as Rebirth (though they may be related, with them being the two alternate outcomes of a similar process), you remain a vampire who need to drink blood to survive, but you start requiring a lot fewer Blood Points to keep yourself going, meaning that you have a lot more ability to hold out for ethical feeding opportunities. You also don’t frenzy, ever. It basically means that you have made peace with your inner darkness, and in doing so, learned to control it. Which is probably why Golconda is rarely mentioned at all in later editions, which as mentioned got a lot more absolutist in their morality. Sigh.

    After that, we get more general rules, and this is where the system starts showing signs of becoming the miserable mess that is the Storyteller System as we know it. See, the system as given back in the earlier chapter was fine, more or less what you needed for a game that’s more about ambience and feel than about rigid physics simulations. But the problem is… the White Wolf writers got enthusiastic.

    That’s the best way I can put it, honestly. There is a section that gushes about how much fun they think it is to turn every situation into a unique minigame with its own distinct rules. And the thought never seems to have occurred to them that if you do that, then you end up with a gazillion unique minigames that are going to have to be balanced against each other and which, having been used once, are going to have to be memorised so that things work the same way next time. No, they just threw themselves into it with merry abandon, and we have the next several hundred books full of bad mechanics to show for it. At the end of this road, folks, lies Exalted and entire shelf meters of broken Charms, because White Wolf could not and by God would not accept that anything those uncool math geeks could do, they couldn’t do better.

    Oh well.

    Having all that said, though, I’ll come out and say that I actually think the combat rules are better in this edition than in any that followed, precisely because they were kept relatively simple. If two people fight in melee, that’s a contested roll, and whichever wins deals damage to the other. If someone shoots at something, that’s a simple roll, and one success is enough to hit and deal damage. Cover provides a hefty difficulty bump to shooting, so when bullets start flying you want to throw yourself behind something. And when someone gets hit, that may just be the end of the fight right there, because injury is very punishing in Storyteller. Which works to the game’s advantage here, where it’s pretty clear that combat is supposed to be rare and risky and with stakes, but not so well in… well, any game from Werewolf onward, where Fighting The Bad Guys is expected to be a pretty constant occurrence.

    Also, there is no bashing damage here, only aggravating (from fire, sunlight, vampire fangs, and other extra-nasty sources) and normal (from everything else). Vampires can “soak” normal damage, which means that they roll Stamina against a difficulty derived from the damage source and each success cancels out a success on the damage roll. Humans can’t soak at all, and vampires can’t soak aggravating, but damage is rolled against a difficulty derived from the target’s Stamina, so a super-tough character is still going to be able to power through a wound better than a sickly one. That’s a little more complicated than what they replaced it with, but I think I like it better.

    There is a helpful example of play where a prose narrative is side by side with a description of the mechanics being used to determine outcomes. That’s kind of cool. The story is about some Anarchs attending a rabble-rousing meeting, but a guy named Sheriff who works for the Prince comes to break it up and everyone ends up fleeing from a building on fire. To clarify, he’s not “the sheriff,” as per later editions – he’s just this one guy who’s called Sheriff, because he struts around talking with a Southern drawl and claiming to be the law. Heh. I guess he got retconned into being an entire institution later…

    Next up is the settings chapter, where we get more detail on vampire society… which is rather less cluttered than it will be in later editions. For one thing, there isn’t a gazillion different court positions that will outnumber the total number of vampires in most cities – there’s just the Prince, who rules with the help of whatever cronies he’s got handy. The Primogen are a thing, but they aren’t a fixed council consisting of the top vampire of each clan in the city here, they’re just the most powerful elders, the people the Prince need the support of to rule effectively. It feels a lot more organic and natural.

    The main conflict is between the elders on one hand and the Anarchs on the other – the latter being, effectively, young vampires (or neonates) who don’t like the elders. The book is a little vague on whether all neonates are per definition Anarchs – I don’t think they are, I’m pretty sure that there is meant to be such a thing as neonates who are bootlicking sycophants for the elders, but the book doesn’t quite say.

    The Camarilla is the overarching vampire organisation that… doesn’t do terribly much except sit there and be stuffy and entrenched. There is a competing organisation called the Sabbat, but it’s this vague thing that’s out there somewhere and most of what you hear about it is probably lies. Still, it’s supposed to be the opposite of the Camarilla, all hellfire and reveling in being monsters. I guess the Anarchs are meant to be the happy medium between the two, which players are meant to sympathise with? Also, there’s the Inconnu, who seek Golconda, but we don’t find out much more about than than that.

    Elders are usually a couple of centuries old, and are the movers and shakers in the vampire world. Vampires who are a thousand years or more are called Methuselah and tend to disappear from vampire society, partly out of paranoia and partly because a lot of them can’t digest human blood anymore and need to feed off other vampires. Which is kind of cool. While you’re on the hunt, something else might be hunting you.

    The Jyhad is… a little better explained than I’ve seen it elsewhere, but still not great. In some places, it’s said to just be the natural animosity between vampires of different ages – neonates know they can only be as powerful as the elders by killing and eating them, Methusaleh can can only survive by killing and eating other vampires, and the elders are trying to maintain their power and long-term survival in the face of the other two. So basically, everyone is scared of either starving or ending up on the dinner table, and scheming wildly to try to avoid either fate. Other times, there are vague hints that the Jyhad is something deeper that’s really a proxy war between a bunch of of ancient, third-generation uber-vampires (the Antediluvians) who are in hiding somewhere, but precisely how they supposedly control everything without ever being noticed isn’t exactly clear.

    Speaking of generations, the first (Caine) through third (Antediluvians) are largely mythical. The fourth and fifth generation are mostly Methuselah and stalking the night for succulent vampire blood. The sixth and seventh tend to be the elders and are the ones whose wrath the players will need to avoid. The eighth through thirteenth are on roughly the level of players and are peers who they might get into scraps with without it being immediately suicidal.

    Also, I have to laugh with great sadness at the mention that the ancient, terrifying Methuselah might have as much as… fifteen dots of Disciplines! Ahhhhh, more innocent days, before the power creep set in. I’m sorry to report that it didn’t last long, by the time of Chicago By Night the unbeatable godmode NPCs were already a thing.

    Other antagonists include ghosts, lupines and magi, later to be known as wraiths, werewolves and mages. “Lupines,” notably, are just as OP as they will be later, but only at night – in the daytime, they’re effectively human. Not that that’s a tremendous comfort to vampires, admittedly. Among human menaces are the Inquisition, the regular cops, and the Arcanum, which is this nebbish bunch of scholars who research the occult. Yeah, I’ve never quite understood what the Arcanum was meant to be used for, though I guess they are a little more of a problem in a game where you can get killed for letting anyone discover that you’re a vampire…

    GM advice! There’s a lot of it, and much of it is… er… kind of pretentious and overblown, to be honest. Look, I think I might once have met a roleplaying group whose campaign had a “theme,” but they were weirdly super-into it even by my standards, and that’s saying some… Still, there are some useful stuff here, like suggestions for how to stage a campaign since it’s hard to make a standard “adventuring party” out of vampires. Having them run a street gang together, be exiles from another city, or be the Prince’s team of troubleshooters are all suggestions offered.

    Also, I alluded to this before, but… the book actually tells you what things are meant to represent, which I feel is uncommonly helpful of it. Like, a vampire’s eternal life (which in practice is just life-until-something-kills-you) is meant to represent our instinctive clinging to a survival that is ultimately impossible. The vampire’s need for blood represents the fact that we, as living beings, must consume other life to sustain ourselves – and how, just like how a vampire can live off of rats and freely donated blood, we can theoretically choose to minimise our impact on the environment, but that doing so is so thankless and inconvenient that most of us don’t bother (just to be clear, I am very much one of the people who don’t bother! I’m just saying, the metaphor is sound). And so on.

    The book wraps up with a starting setting of sorts, in the form of the city of Gary, Indiana. It’s described as being, essentially, a dismal place of rusting, abandoned factories, crippling poverty and a rapidly fleeing populace, ruled over by a Prince (Modius) whose chance for the big times was lost decades ago and is now just going through the motions. It’s all got a nice Life is Strange vibe to it, of shaking your head at the hopelessness but also secretly relishing the romantic squalor. There are a bunch of other NPCs statted up, including some allies and rivals for Modius, a couple of vampire hunters (regular no-powered ones, since Hunter: the Reckoning is still a decade away!), and some sundry hangers-on. There’s also a short scenario where the players attend a party in Modius’ decaying mansion and get sent as his envoys to the rival Prince of Chicago. To be continued in Ashes to Ashes.

    All in all? I kind of love it. Oh, there are some dumb stuff, and some things that could have been better explained, and certainly the book could have been a lot better organised, but the vibe, man. The vibe. This is everything I loved about the WoD, only distilled and without years upon years of the writers getting too big for their britches.

    So okay, fine. I’m jumping on the bandwagon, some thirty-five years after it left the station and probably twenty or so since everyone else got off of it. I admit it. Vampires are cool, too.

  • Creating Winnie Wurmstein, the Hoarder

    Hello and welcome back to my series of creating pregen characters for the Monstrous Mishaps quickstart (soon at an online store near you! Assuming I can get my ass in gear, at least). Last week, we saw the genesis of mild-mannered dork Klaus Kleinmann. This time, we’re on to the Hoarder. Let’s call her Winnie Wurmstein.

    Being a Hoarder (which is to say, a Dragon in human form), Winnie has to be obsessed with collecting ever more of something. I’ll say that her fascination is with artifacts related to Hauntings – not necessarily Haunted artifacts, but things that once belonged to someone who later came back as a ghost, or who was involved in mysterious goings-on of some sort. Things like that will be hard to get hold of while also being pretty much entirely useless – perfect for a Hoarder’s obsession!

    Since Klaus was such a meek and unadventurous character, I want to make Winnie a lot more active and gung-ho. She’s also going to need to know a lot about ghost stories and urban legends for her hoarding. As such, I’ll start with giving her Basic (4) Asskicking and Basic (4) Weirdness, making her a sort of two-fisted occult investigator. Being cheerfully loud and perfectly able to stand up for herself, I’ll also give her Limited (3) Dramatics and Limited (3) Grit. Finally, she’s pretty active and prone to running around, and also used to doing research and going over records, so she gets Limited (2) Fitness and Limited (2) Paperpushing.

    For her lifepath, I decide that Winnie was pretty over-enthusiastic even as a child (Metabolism of a Humming Bird), made a big production of things in school (Drama Club) and now runs a largely unsuccessful business dealing in occult curios (unsuccessful because obviously she can’t bear to part with her better finds…). That raises her Dramatics and Fitness to Basic (4) and her Weirdness to Basic (5). Her Breed Abilities are Keenness and Asskicking, so raise the former to Limited (2) and the latter to Basic (5).

    Winnie can use the Basic power for Wyrm’s Discernment (Nose for Gold – it allows you to pinpoint which object in your vicinity is most useful to you) in her “treasure”-hunting, so let’s give her Basic (4) Wyrm’s Discernment. I could give her another point in one of her Secondary Dooms, but that’d tank her Respectability completely (the starting value is calculated from how much of a Monster you start out as – the freakier you are, the less conventionally successful you will be) and she is supposed to run a business, albeit a small business, so let’s leave it there.

    Thus, she starts with Limited (3) Maze, Basic (4) Monstrosity, Basic (4) Pretension, Limited (2) Respectability. From that and her other Abilities, we can calculate her Pools as follows: Health Points 9, Grit Points 8, Stamina Points 8, Budget Points 2, Favour Points 4.

    Again trying to make her different from Klaus, I’ll give her the Values of Excellence and Individualism. Winnie is competitive and runs her own race.

    All in all, Winnie turns out like this:

    WINNIE WURMSTEIN

    Breed: Hoarder

    Childhood: Metabolism of a Hummingbird
    Adolescence: Drama Club
    Adulthood: Woo-Woo Artist

    Values: Excellence, Individualism

    Primary Abilities: Basic (5) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (4) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Basic (4) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Basic (4) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Basic (5) Monstrosity, Basic (4) Pretension, Limited (2) Respectability

    Dooms: Basic (4) Wyrm’s Discernment

    Pools: HP 9, GP 8, SP 8, BP 2, FP 4

    That just leaves us Winnie’s Relationships. First, to offset her love of the strange, let’s give her a Friend with the Stereotype of Bookworm and the Discord of Skeptic – he doesn’t believe in any of this supernatural nonsense, and never mind that Winnie lives in a fiery cave with a bunch of other freaks, those are clearly just special effects and frankly he’s hurt that she’d insult his intelligence with such clear fraud! But just to shake things up, we’ll give him the Problem of Occult Lightning Rod. He might not believe in magic, but magic is very attached to him and he keeps being under curses and influences that he refuses to acknowledge.

    WINNIE’S FRIEND #1: JOE GRIBBELS

    Winnie and Joe met when his more open-minded wife dragged him to Winnie’s store to cure a curse that gave him his own trailing rain cloud (“such a lot of fuss! It’s like she never saw a perfectly natural localised metrological phenomenon before!”). Oddly enough, he and Winnie actually hit it off, especially since he provides a steady supply of arcane mysteries for her to acquire relics of.

    Stereotype: Bookworm
    Problem: Occult Lightning Rod
    Discord: Sceptic

    Values: Excellence, Tradition

    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (5) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Basic (4) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Limited (3) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

    Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 2, BP 4

    For Winnie’s second Friend, let’s create her a partner for her occult curios store. We give her the Stereotype of Party Animal, the Problem of Not Right in the Head, and the Discord of Flake, to make her as unreliable for poor Winnie as possible – but she still has to somehow coax her back to work, since the business is shaky enough as it is.

    WINNIE’S FRIEND #2: LISA LUDLOCK

    Lisa is Winnie’s business partner, and together they run the Awesome Artifacts & Righteous Relics store. Lisa has the eccentricity of considering herself to be in contact with her grandmother, Greta Ludlock, who dispenses sage advice. Usually the advice is that Lisa is working too hard and should go do something fun for a change, which tends to leave the already-struggling store unmanned at inconvenient hours.

    Stereotype: Party Animal
    Problem: Not Right in The Head
    Discord: Flake

    Values: Community, Individualism

    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (5) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Limited (3) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Basic (4) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Basic (4) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Basic (4) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

    Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 3, BP 4

    For Winnie’s Rival, let’s give her a boring stick in the mud to contrast her own blithe spirit. We’ll give him the approach of Spoilsport and the Feud of Professional, and say that he’s an anal-retentive inspector who keeps trying to shut down her store for its various regulatory breaches. His Redemption can be Independence, further emphasising that he prefers things as simple and drab as possible. We’ll make him a Monster, specifically an Outcast, to give him some more (anti-) personality.

    WINNIE’S RIVAL: COLIN FRUMP

    Colin works as a health and safety inspector for City Hall, and has made it his life’s mission to shut down Awesome Artifacts & Righteous Relics for its owners’ blatant disregard for all that is good and bureaucratic. While not the most fearsome of adversaries, his sheer plodding persistence can be disturbingly effective.

    Approach: Spoilsport
    Feud: Professional
    Redemption: Independence


    Breed: Outsider


    Values: Stoicism, Excellence


    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Basic (5) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Basic (4) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (6) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Basic (4) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Basic (4) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

    Dooms: Minimal (1) Fae’s Trickery, Minimal (1) Pariah’s Desolation, Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

    Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 2, BP 3, FP 3

    Finally, Winnie needs an Enemy, and being a Dragon, what better Enemy than a Damsel? Damsels, for those who are curious, are a special type of Monster-Slayer who don’t do much actual slaying but just sort of exist to tempt Monsters into victimising them, thereby providing justification for more go-getting Slayers. Think Bella Swan, only with Edward as the target for her endless whining rather than the one thing in the world she actually likes.

    Turning Winnie’s stats inside-out in the same way we did with Klaus last week, we get:

    WINNIE’S ENEMY: HOLGER MINX

    Holger and Winnie dated for a couple of years when they were younger, but eventually broke up due to a multitude of incompatabilities. Holger took the breakup so badly that he was Called as a Slayer on the spot, and ever since then he’s taken to hanging around and moaning eloquently about how horribly Winnie treated him, turning any soft-hearted people within hearing range against her in response.

    Legend: Complainer

    Values: Egalitarianism, Community

    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Calling, Basic (7) Respectability

    Pools: HP 6, GP 1 (+3 from Calling), SP 2, BP 7

    And that’s it! That’s the second of our six pregens finished. Join me next week, as we descend into the flaming nether regions of Hell, and stat up a Demon.

  • Creating Klaus Kleinmann, the Creep

    My Monstrous Mishaps quickstart now contains all the rules for playing the game, so all that remains is to write up a sample Story. But since Monstrous Mishaps works best when it’s very personalised – each character comes with specific plot hooks that are meant to be integrated into every Story – I think I’d better supply some pregenerated characters too. One each for the six Breeds that I first created (the skulking Creeps, the kleptomaniacal Hoarders, the put-upon Klutzes, the overzealous Jerkasses, the obnoxious Loudmouths and the shameless Moochers) will probably be best. I won’t be using all the stuff I generate, since the quickstart runs off a slimmed down version of the full rules, but it’ll be good to have a lot of material to choose from.

    So, this week, let’s start with our Creep. First he needs to pick his Abilities, two at Basic (4), two at Limited (3), and two at Limited (2). Let’s say that he’s a conflict-averse nerd who prefers to run away from danger and give him Basic (4) Fitness and Basic (4) Hiding. He also reads a lot and has a good memory, so he’s got Limited (3) Nerdery, Limited (3) Weirdness, Limited (2) Paperpushing and Limited (2) Keenness. Being a Creep gives him +1 to Mindgames and Hiding, so adding that to what he’s already got (every Ability not chosen, of course, starts at Minimal (1)), he’s got Limited (2) Mindgames and Basic (5) Hiding.

    I’m getting a pretty good image of our Creep now. I think I’m going to call him Klaus Kleinmann.

    Next, we’ll consider Klaus’ lifepath. I figure that he had an older brother who used to bully him relentlessly for being so, well, Creepy, so he gets +1 to Asskicking for having had Mean Older Siblings. To add to his miseries, his parents thought he was weird and off-putting too and sent him to Military School, giving him a +1 to Grit. Perhaps they did him a favour, since I forgot my own sage advice of always starting a character with at least a few extra points in Grit. Finally, as an adult he’s become a boring file clerk, so he gets +1 to Paperpushing for being a Bureaucrat.

    We quickly calculate his Derived Abilities from what we now know to be his Primary Abilities, and end up with:

    Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Basic (4) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (5) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Limited (3) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness


    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (3) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (3) X-Tremeness

    Next up is Dooms. I think I want Klaus to have at least a little bit of skill with a Creep’s Primary Doom of Fae’s Trickery, so I’ll raise it to Limited (2). Klaus’ retiring personality is so strong that sometimes he can be oddly hard to spot. I also want him to be into making some weird art (hey, it’s something you can do all by yourself!), so I’ll also giving him Minimal (1) Devil’s Craft. That gives him a total Monstrosity Score of Limited (3), which also sets his beginning Respectability and Pretension Scores – both of them also at Limited (3). Klaus doesn’t stand out much either among Monsters or among regular people.

    Given Klaus’ Abilities, he has 8 Health Points (X-Tremeness Score + 5), 7 Grit Points (Grit Score +5), 10 Stamina Points (Fitness Score + 5), 3 Budget Points (Respectability Score) and 3 Favour Points (Pretension Score).

    For Values, I’m giving Klaus Harmony and Community. He really just wants to follow the rules, play it safe, and go about his day without offending anyone. Good luck with that, of course, given that Creeps have a Bane that causes them to automatically offend people just by drawing breath, but oh well.

    That’s it for Klaus himself! His finished stats look like this:

    KLAUS KLEINMANN

    Breed: Creep

    Childhood: Mean Older Siblings
    Adolescence: Military School
    Adulthood: Bureaucrat


    Values: Harmony, Community

    Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Basic (4) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (5) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Limited (3) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (3) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (3) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

    Dooms: Minimal (1) Devil’s Craft, Limited (2) Fae’s Trickery

    Pools: HP 8, GP 7, SP 9, BP 3, FP 3

    But we’re not done yet! We still need to create two Friends, one Rival, and one Enemy to make Klaus’ life interesting.

    For his first Friend, I’ll choose the Stereotype of Alpha, the DIscord of The Ball and Chain, and the Problem of Web of Lies. That gives us a bunch of Ability adjustments to pile together, and we end up with a character who isn’t entirely un-rugged but whose only real stand-out Ability is his Basic (4) Schmoozing. He’s also got the sole Value of Utilitarianism, so apparently he’s a person of flexible morality. I’ll name him Fridolf Chickenhawke and write him up like this:

    KLAUS’ FRIEND #1: FRIDOLF CHICKENHAWKE

    Fridolf and Klaus first met in military school, where good-natured Fridolf took the timid kid under his wing and resolved to “show him how it’s done” – though what he mostly showed him was how to get in trouble with the teachers by creative but inevitably failed get-out-of-working-hard schemes. He has since settled down slightly and married a woman named Selma, to whom he’s trying to present a respectable front, though his happy-go-lucky nature is hard to repress. He has taken to blaming Klaus for things like staying out drinking too late or missing work, which hasn’t exactly made Klaus popular with formidable Selma.


    Stereotype: Alpha
    Problem: Web of Lies
    Discord: The Ball and Chain

    Values: Utilitarianism

    Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Limited (3) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Basic (4) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Basic (5) Respectability

    Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 5

    You’ll notice that Fridolf’s Pools are lower than Klaus’ is. That’s because he’s a GMC, and GMCs are assumed to be running around spending points from their Pools when the players aren’t looking.

    For Klaus’ second Friend, I’m choosing the Stereotype of Optimist, the Problem of Pie in the Sky, and the Discord of High-Maintainance. Adding together all the modifiers from that, we get a jack of all trades who knows a little of everything but isn’t startlingly good at anything. They also have the Values of Harmony and Innovation, befitting someone who is sure that the world loves them and that good things are just one more fine adjustment away. I’ll write them up like this:

    KLAUS’ FRIEND #2: SHIRLEY SHINE

    Shirley works in the same office as Klaus, but is sure that that’s just a gateway to bigger and better things. She tinkers with mechanical inventions in her spare time and always has some new questionable contraption that she’s sure will sell big if she can just convince some bigwig to invest in it. She likes Klaus but considers all his interests to be insufferably boring (which, to be fair, isn’t inaccurate) and keeps trying to drag him off to do something more exciting, like helping her get rich.

    Stereotype: Optimist
    Problem: Pie in the Sky
    Discord: High-Maintenance

    Values: Harmony, Innovation

    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Limited (2) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Limited (3) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (3) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Respectability

    Pools: HP 7, GP 2, SP 4, BP 3

    Next up is Klaus’ rival, his sitcom-style arch-nemesis who engages in pointless and belligerent feuds with him. I’ll pick the Approach of Brute, and the Redemption of Bravery, but just to shake things up (and preserve the alliteration) I’ll use the Feud of Brainy. So Klaus’ Rival is someone who wants to beat him up to prove that he’s smarter, and who clearly isn’t deterred by how little sense that makes! The points from those three choices gives me someone who is actually quite good at both Asskicking and Nerdery, and whose Values are Excellence and Innovation. Thus, I give you:

    KLAUS’ RIVAL: HECTOR JIBB

    Hector is an insecure overachiever who can’t stand not being the best at anything that he thinks matters, whether academic or athletic. He’s been out to get Klaus ever since he happened to score a single point more than Hector on their second grade spelling test, and is now constantly trying to show him up in front of the Court as a lesser intellect and an inferior sportsman, and never mind that Klaus has never claimed to be any sort of intellect or sportsman. Hector loves a challenge and throws himself into any chance to prove himself against impossible odds.

    Approach: Brute
    Feud: Brainy
    Redemption: Bravery

    Breed: Klutz

    Values: Excellence, Innovation

    Primary Abilities: Basic (6) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Basic (5) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Limited (2) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (3) Intrusion, Basic (5) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Basic (5) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

    Dooms: Minimal (1) Ancient’s Wisdom, Minimal (1) Pariah’s Isolation, Minimal (1) Titan’s Prowess

    Pools: HP 10, GP 1, SP 6, BP 3, FP 3

    I made Hector a Klutz, since that fits well with his “a healthy mind in a healthy body” ethos. The Rival is usually another Monster, though that isn’t an absolute rule and I may well shake things up as I get further.

    Finally, we need to create an Enemy. Those are more serious than Rivals – they might not be trying to kill you, per se, but they certainly want to ruin you and won’t be satisfied with less. They are also defined by their PC in a whole different way – their Abilities are generated by switching the Scores of certain of the PC’s Abilities that are in some way “opposites.”

    Thus, to create Klaus’ Enemy, we switch his Limited (2) Asskicking and his Minimal (1) Schmoozing, giving the Enemy Minimal (1) Asskicking and Limited (2) Schmoozing. They’re neither one very impressive at either talking or fighting, but where Klaus is a little better at defending himself, the Enemy is a little better at talking his way out of trouble. We likewise exchange Klaus’ Minimal (1) Camping and his Limited (3) Paperpushing to give the Enemy Limited (3) Camping and Minimal (1) Paperpushing – Klaus is more at home in civilisation, and the Enemy is more at home in the wilderness, though again it’s neither’s defining feature.

    A more serious difference is Dramatics and Hiding; Klaus’ Basic (5) Hiding and Minimal (1) Dramatics becomes a Basic (4) Dramatics and Minimal (1) Hiding for the Enemy – Klaus is very quiet, and the Enemy is very loud. Note that one point disappeared from that Basic (5). That’s because it came from Klaus’ Breed bonus, meaning it doesn’t “count” for these purposes.

    And so on. The Enemy’s Values, meanwhile, are the polar opposites of Klaus’ Harmony and Community, meaning that they are Stoicism and Individualism.

    We’ll have the Enemy be a Slayer, though figuring out their Legend took some thought. In the end, though, I decided that the Enemy was a brash, direct person who was secretly afraid (and envious) of anyone subtler and more circumspect than himself, and made him a Wimp, the Legend who aspires to be tricksters and rogues. I ended up writing him up like this:

    KLAUS’ ENEMY: BARRY HUSSEL

    Barry is a go-getter of the first order and has gotten a decent amount of financial success by working hard, running his own race, and shouting very loudly at people. However, no matter what he does, it never seems to be enough – really making it into the big time always seems to elude him. After being Called as a Slayer, he’s realised that the reason for that is that sinister beings like Klaus keep scurrying around in the shadows and ruining everything for him with their clever schemes. Well, Barry is going to show that he can out-scheme the lot of them, and then he’ll finally get the unrivalled fame and fortune that he deserves!

    Legend: Wimp

    Values: Stoicism, Individualism

    Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Basic (4) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Miniaml (1) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (4) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (2) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

    Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

    Special Abilities: Minimal (1) Calling, Advanced (8) Respectability

    Pools: HP 6, GP 1, SP 3, BP 8

    There you go! One PC with a supporting cast of four GMCs ready to go! Klaus will have his work cut out for him trying to beaten up by Hector, pulled into one of Barry’s inept schemes, press-ganged into trying to promote Shlley’s latest invention or getting blamed for whatever Selma is mad at Fridolf over this week.

    Next up the Hoarder, our resident would-be marauding Dragon. Stay tuned.

  • The not-so-secret origins of Dragonbane

    This week, I’ve somehow ended up messing around with some nostalgia. I did say I was going to occupy myself with something that wasn’t actively painful, though this wasn’t quite what I had in mind…

    So, let’s go back to even before the sanctimonious edginess of the late 90s. It’s 1982. For the past eight years, Dungeons & Dragons has been doing the Lord’s work in socialising mildly autistic teenage boys. Not only does it dominate the field, but it very nearly is the field; a thousand flowers have yet to bloom. The World of Darkness is not even a twinkle in Mark Rein-Hagen’s eye. Kevin Siembieda has yet to decide that the problem with D&D is that it’s too restrained and thematically coherent and create Rifts to fix it. MIke Pondsmith won’t be replacing wizards and dragons for hackers and evil corporations in Cyberpunk for quite a few years yet, and of course that means that it’ll be even longer before someone decides, “hey, what if we had wizards and dragons and hackers and evil corporations?” and Shadowrun is born.

    Still, there are always people who look at the trailblazer and go, “hmm, pretty cool, but I think I could do it better.” RuneQuest appeared a few years ago, and it’s already spawned regular runners-up Stormbringer and Call of Cthulhu. And in Sweden, a bunch of cheerful amateurs whose experience is entirely with making board games realise that there are tons of mildly autistic Swedish boys who’d probably go gaga for roleplaying games if they weren’t written in a foreign language. So they license the RuneQuest rule system, and they release… this.

    Drakar & Demoner (“Dragons & Demons”; these days known as Dragonbane in its English translation, presumably to make it less confusing) has arrived. Swedish dorkdom will never be the same.

    The rulebook is a slender little 54-page booklet, including the sample adventure Among Goblins and Trolls. Precisely how much of it is original is something I’m still not clear on, but apparently a big chunk of it is just a (decidedly shaky) translation of RuneQuest’s more generic version, Basic Roleplaying. Well, keeping in mind that I’m not sure who to credit, I’ll just tell you my impressions.

    The start is quite charming, being a short description of how an unassuming farmhand makes a journey to a nearby village, hears some interesting rumours of haunted ruins and the like, and faces a few limited difficulties, with the narration frequently discussing the different ways they might deal with them. It’s nice and flavourful, giving a sense of low-key, whimsical setting that evokes the peaceful Swedish countryside. It’s also kind of completely different from anything you’ll encounter in the game, giving the impression that the whole thing is more of a pastoral slice-of-life affair than a gritty dungeon-crawler. Oh well.

    The rules are… quite decent, as far as they go, but they’re presented in a jumble that takes some time to figure out. The system is d100 roll-under, and you get a base chance in most everyday skill (climbing, sneaking, listening, etc) in about the 40% to 60% range. Anything racier than that, like weapons, tend to start at 20% or less, with clubs having the highest base chances, axes somewhat lower, and swords pretty much hopeless to hit with without training. You also roll 3d6 for seven different core stats, which decide your hit points, your carrying capacity, your spell points, and your percentage chance at a bunch of non-skill abilities like dodging and persuasion.

    You may attempt to roll to start the game as a Warrior, a Magician or a Scholar, with the first being relatively easy (the percentage chance is the sum of all your stats) and the latter two being a bit trickier. If you can’t make the roll for any of them, or you choose not to make it, you can start as an Outlaw instead.

    Warriors start with a horse, armour, and a couple of different weapons, and they get skill with those weapons as well as riding and jumping (for… some reason?). Outlaws start with a shortsword and dagger and skill in those and in a whole bunch of non-combat-related skills, including pickpocketing and lockpicking. They both also get a comfortable amount of starting cash, having looted or stolen it, respectively.

    Scholars start with a decent chance at knowing stuff in one particular academic area, a poor chance of knowing something in any other academic area, and one close combat weapon. I would strongly advise against playing one of these, having the power of Knowing Stuff is fun in theory, but in practice, you’re just not going to get much mileage out of being well-versed in Astronomy when dungeon-crawling. At most, I could see a scholar working as a poor man’s healer, since they get first aid skills, but only in a party that didn’t have a magician with a healing spell.

    Magicians start with a weapon of their choice and four spells at somewhat unimpressive success chances. The spells can be pretty cool, though, if not earth-shaking – turning invisible, seeing into the past, and lifting small objects with your mind are all possibilities with a lot of utility, and of course you can take the healing spell, which is a game changer in this game given how slow hit point recovery is and how scarce healing potions are (they can be store-bought, a fact that is hidden at the end of a paragraph somewhere in the gear section, but they cost a freaking fortune, so unless the GM is kind enough to leave plenty for you to find, you won’t be able to rely on them).

    The book mentions that magic is divided into “ceremonial magic” and “sorcery,” with the latter being the sort of quick-casting spells that adventurers have access to, and the former being the explanation for magical items, potions, demons, undead hordes, and other stuff that adventurers will run into a lot. It takes ages to use and requires extensive training – ceremonial magicians might have been adventurers at one point, but they’ve since retired to pursue their studies. Okay, that’s a nice touch that I wish had made it into later editions, it answer the question of, “but why can’t I do all that stuff that the NPCs can apparently do?” pretty satisfactorily.

    Notably, you don’t necessarily have to be a magician to learn spells, it’s just a lot easier that way. Again, something that I feel is quite charming and that unfortunately didn’t last – as the editions went on, the gatekeeping around magic just got more and more determined, I am sorry to say.

    Spells can be cast in levels of effect, but everything over the first level imposes a cumulative -10% penalty to your chance to get it off. Which, given that you start out at 45% if you’re lucky and will pretty much never get as high as 100%, would seem to ensure that you’ll always be casting at near level one, but that doesn’t stop the text from slapping on a lot of restrictions to how high a degree you can use as if that is ever going to be a problem. Yeah, I don’t know, really. Oh, and you have to spend as many spell points as the levels of the spell, even if you fail the casting, so you’ll get winded pretty fast if you try to spam a low-probability casting.

    Magic items exist. If you have one, and you know how to trigger it (there is a spell that lets you discern how to trigger a particular object, and you can hire an NPC magician to cast it for you if you can’t pull it off yourself), you get a chance to cast the spell at 5 x your Power stat, at whatever level the item is set for. There are also demonic items which have minds of their own and can cast one or more spells for you if you manage to bend them to your will, but if you botch with it the demon breaks loose. Oooooh, pretty cool. I’m guessing that’s probably taken from Stormbringer,

    Combat! Everyone go in strict order of their Skill stat (renamed “Dexterity” in later editions). You can attack or parry once per round, and you have to decide whether to parry before an opponent’s attack is resolved, so if you’re fighting someone with higher Skill than you and not carrying a shield, you’re at a definite disadvantage – you can’t just wait for him to miss so you can take a swing of your own, you have to bet on him missing or accept some damage every time. All of which of course means that heavy armour is king – if you’re a knight in full plate, you scoff at most regular weapons and can swing your claymore around without even bothering to parry. The second best thing is to have a shield, because then you can parry with that and attack with your weapon in the same round.

    Parrying an attack from a slashing (like an axe) or bashing (like a club) weapon damages the parrying weapon, and so does failing an attack against an opponent who succeeds at a parry with a slashing or bashing weapon – as in, these things have a shockingly low survival rate and you shouldn’t get too used to them. Parrying with a shield doesn’t damage it, but instead of flat out deflecting the attack, it “only” subtracts a lot of damage from it.

    Impaling weapons (like spears) have a low chance (like, one to five percent) of doing a ton of extra damage, though if they do they become stuck in the enemy and have to be yanked out. Heh, that’s kind of cool, and offers at least some limited hope of poking through a knight’s armour when all you have is a dagger or something. I kind of feel like there should be some mention of the effects of fighting with a spear sticking out of you, mind…

    Hit points are limited, and will rarely if ever get higher no matter how experienced you get – a couple of hits with a regular sword will kill you. Recovery is slow, you’ll be laid up for months. Wear armour! More is better! None of that Errol Flynn crap, we’re being gritty and medieval here. And again, try very hard to have a magician with the healing spell in the party so you don’t have to go on extended sick leaves after every adventure.

    There is a limited monster manual consisting of two semi-benevolent humanoids (elves and dwarves), two semi-malevolent humanoids (trolls and goblins), two undead (skeletons and ghosts), two monsters (manticores and chimeras), two regular animals (horses and wolves) and, to justify the titles, dragons and demons. Both of the latter two, by the way, are way way way too tough for you to ever want to fight them with these super-gritty rules.

    The humanoid races are all playable, and there are hasty additions that explain what chances that makes to the character creation process. Elves are cheaty bastards who start with a bunch of spells without needing to be magicians. Trolls are likewise kind of overpowered, and are not stupid brutes but actually have better long-term memory than other races, but they make up for it by being unable to stand sunlight.

    Then, finally, there is the starting adventure which is stated to be for the use of 3-6 starting-level characters. Absolutely no experienced parties, it fussily admonishes you, or it won’t be challenging enough! Well, I rolled up a couple of characters and made a solo game of it, and…

    DEAR FREAKING LORD.

    This thing is impossible! My party didn’t even make it past the first room before they got zapped unconscious by a couple of flying jellyfish with four insta-knockout attacks per round! I decided to try to roll with it and have them wake up in a cell and have to free themselves, so they did that, but then they got TPK:ed by a single templar who was wearing full armour (meaning he was all but invincible) had more hit points than anything human should be able to have by the rules, and did a crapload of damage with his attack which had a 85% success chance. And there are six of those things running around the dungeon!

    Did… did no one playtest this? Am I just missing something obvious here? I couldn’t even figure out any way to finesse it – like, those jellyfish have crazy-high initiative, fly faster than a human can run, and have a 100% success rate at sneaking. Along with, again, four or five attacks per round that, no matter how carefully I try to read the rules, seem to paralyse anyone it hits regardless of his stats or armour, so even if you had super-experienced characters with hit chances of 120%, they’d probably still get creamed, because there are just no reasonable countermeasures to these things.

    Yeah, I had to give up on this one. It’s a shame, because I actually kind of liked the ambience. I mean, the jellyfish are OP, but… giant demonic jellyfish! Plus fire-breathing demon wolves, black knights, and a creepy living wall that is the physical manifestation of an evil god. It looks like it’d be great fun if it was actually playable…

    Well… that’s the very first Dragonbane book. I admit myself to being kind of fond of it, for all its shaky bits. There were a lot of ideas being thrown against the wall here, a lot of which didn’t make it into the second edition, and a lot of blank spaces that later editions went rather too hard at filling out (the currently extant edition of Dragonbane has, for the most parts, dialed back on the complexity to the point where it is if anything simpler than the original one). It’s crude, but it’s pretty usable, and it actually looks like it would be fun.

    Alas, I never got to try it. In 1982, I was still occupied with mastering potty training, and by the time I got old enough to discover the awesomeness of roleplaying, the fourth edition was in full swing. And the mental scars I have from that should probably be the subject of its own post…

  • Aberrant readthrough: postscript

    Aberrant readthrough: postscript

    So, some three months ago I got it into my head that I was going to tackle Aberrant as my next porting project, and since then, I have been manfully working my way through the 16-book first edition. My original estimate was that it started pretty bad, but got slightly better. Then I found that after it got slightly better, it got a whole lot worse.

    So does that mean I’m giving up on porting it? NEVER!!! I will hammer this stupid thing into something playable, just you watch me. It just might take me, er… a little longer than anticipated.

    Still, let’s start with sketching out a few things that need to be emphasised, de-emphasised, or completely changed to make use of the potential that is actually there.

    NERF ALL THE UBER-NPCS

    This is a great idea for any White Wolf game, frankly, DIvis Mal, Caestus Pax, Antaeus, and all the other monstrosities need to be brought down to a level where they can at least be affected by things that the PCs do. Essentially, everything that calls for Quantum 6+ needs to be cut.

    This is not to say that some NPCs shouldn’t be a lot more powerful than starting PCs. Divis Mal really is the world’s most powerful nova. He’s just not an untouchable god. And he really can whup Caestus Pax’s butt, which is something that should make everyone not 100% aligned with his values very concerned, he just has to break a sweat doing it and will have a few bruises of his own by the end. No unstoppable forces, no immovable objects.

    And while I’m at the subject:

    NO MORE KISSING OF DIVIS MAL’S ASS

    No matter how perfectly toned it no doubt is! Divis Mal doesn’t get to be 100% right and perfect, because no one gets to be 100% right and perfect. He needs to be presented as a larger-than-life character with larger-than-life flaws. Specifically, his assumption that novas will naturally gravitate to agreeing with him about everything (except for maybe a few details to spice up the late-night philosophical discussions, ho ho) is going to be founded on nothing but his egomania. Mal feels lonely, and he assumes it’s because no one is as smart and powerful as him, because he’s the kind of narcissist who naturally assumes that. The real reason he’s lonely is because he is unable to accept that someone might disagree with him without being an idiot.

    So no, Novas don’t evolve into a One Race of enlightened beings who will leave those filthy, filthy baselines behind to create a better, brighter, and more fabulous world. They evolve into a thousand different single-individual species, each one exaggerated into a caricature of his or her original biases and values. Mal hasn’t created companions for himself. He’s just created thousands of beings who will all be both as supremely powerful and as emotionally isolated as himself.

    And guess what? That’s not going to end well for anyone.

    NO MORE STUPID STERILISATION PLOT

    Because it’s dumb. It makes no sense in or out of universe.

    But fine, let’s not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Let’s just say that eruption naturally causes fertility problems, precisely because it does start revamping your entire biology to better suit your idea of how it’s meant to work. Again, a nova is essentially a species of one – and the definition of a species is something that can’t reproduce with another species. That’s why everyone is hot and single, not because of some nefarious plot.

    Then let’s add the qualification that there are ways to allow novas to breed, but it takes either special medical procedures (that must be unique for each nova) or rare quantum powers. That’s in keeping with the setting, where those are ways that Utopia’s stupid sterility plague can be cured, but it turns nova infertility into a realistic-feeling consequence of personal evolution, not some skeevy conspiracy. We can even make it so that Utopia is supposed to be working on a cure but are notoriously dragging their feet about it and designating some of the more promising procedures as “black-tech” since they’re secretly worried that it might lead to a nova population explosion that might just rip the world asunder.

    Still a little too lurid and demoralising for my taste, but fine – we’re looking to make the least active changes to the setting here.

    UTOPIA’S FAILINGS NEED TO BE MORE REALISTIC

    Having gotten rid of the sterility plague, we need to come up with some better shady elements of Project Utopia. And the books actually do fumble in the direction of some on occasion, they just invariably fall back on inept Proteus schemes.

    So: Utopia really is trying to fix the world’s problems. The problem is, the world’s problems are complicated, and fixing one tends to either worsen another or create a brand new one. Brilliant experimental fixes for the environment turn out to have long-term consequences that no one foresaw. Ending poverty requires erasing local culture. Vigorous crime-fighting tramples all over the civil liberties of innocent people caught in the drag net. Not everyone agrees with Project Utopia’s solutions, because those solutions have actual downsides to them.

    Enter Project Proteus. Their job is to cover up all that nasty moral ambiguity and create the illusion that this is a bright, shiny superhero setting where the caped supermen are completely trustworthy and absolutely capable of fixing everything with a smile and a wink. Anyone complains? Discredit them. Anyone refuses to cooperate? Blackmail them. A T2M-er marketed as a wholesome role model gets drunk and makes an ass of himself? Bribe everyone into staying quiet about it.

    If someone starts to notice too many things they’re not supposed to and can’t be gently deterred, then of course more drastic measures need to be taken. Sometimes people really do disappear into black sites or have unfortunate accidents. The really dark stuff is still there, it’s just there at the end of a long trail of logic that starts with precisely the kind of brand-management and message-polishing that’s considered just common sense for anyone in the business.

    Divis Mal is sure that he’s right, and that the only reason people disagree with him is because they’re stupid – so he tries to make them smarter. Project Utopia is sure that it’s right, and that the only reason people disagree with it is that they’re stupid – so it tries to present them with a simpler, brighter picture that no one could possibly disagree with. Neither of them ever considers the possibility that people might disagree with them because they’re wrong. They’re each other’s reflection, and between the two of them they’ll wreck the world by trying to fix it.

    PUT TAINT FRONT AND CENTRE

    Taint should be the main event. It’s what makes the setting fundamentally unstable – and thus dynamic and interesting. Taint is, if not the only reason why Project Utopia can’t create a real-world Justice League of moral paragons, then at least one major reason. By the time someone has the power of Superman, he no longer has the inclination to be Superman, insofar as he ever had it. Why protect a human race that you can no longer relate to, either physically or mentally or both? It’s not that Taint turns you evil, necessarily. It’s that it makes you something other than human – and it’s hard to empathise with anything that is too different from yourself.

    Taint is also the reason why Divis Mal’s plan for the One Race is doomed. Again, he assumes that there is only a single line of evolution leading away from humanity, and that it leads to become something very much like him, since he is clearly perfection incarnate! In fact, every nova’s Taint will send him or her off in a different direction – each one an infinitely long branch of an increasingly bizarre and disjointed tree.

    And of course, sometimes a nova’s initial self-image is so warped that Taint really does turn them evil, because “evil” is the only way to describe the thing they most long to be. The Church of Astaroth should function as a sobering example, not a contemptible strawman. What happens when someone gets offered the chance to become whatever he want to be, and what he thinks he wants to be is cartoonishly evil? Then cartoonish evil becomes a real thing, and that’s not silly or pathetic. It’s terrifying.

    THE DIRECTIVE NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO

    The Directive may just be the most underserved part of the setting, to the point where I’m not exactly sure why the writers even put it in there, since they were so uninterested in doing anything with it. It’s presented as a cynical, scheming organisation of manipulators and secret agents, but there already is one of those, it’s called Project Proteus. The Directive can’t be the paranoia-inducing hidden hand behind the scenes, because Project Proteus already fills that role with more gusto.

    But fine – it’s there. And it needs something to do. I think that something should be this:

    The Directive is there to oppose attempts to change the world.

    Changing the world is meant to be a thing you can do in Aberrant, but since that’s so hard to turn into something gameable, it’s a theme that’s mostly paid lip service to. You want to revitalise the economy of the Philippines? Okay, then we can either have you make a single roll to see if you succeed at that lengthy project, or we can play out a long, boring series of meetings and late-night policy-writing sessions. Either way, it sounds kind of boring.

    So let the Directive stand in for the inertia of the setting. You want to revitalise the economy? Sure, you can do that, because gosh-darn-it, you’re a nova, you can do anything! But the Directive doesn’t want you to do it. It probably has some kind of reasons – it’ll disrupt things elsewhere, it’ll empower radical elements, or maybe the crooks who benefit from the Philippines being underdeveloped offered them something they want. Either way, this thing you want to do? The Directive doesn’t want it done.

    So now we an antagonist with some agency, not just boring procedures. Now you’ll have to fight off attacks by high-tech assassins. Figure out who’s blackmailing people into dropping their support for your plans. Prevent attempts at sabotaging your infrastructure. You know. Roleplaying stuff.

    And of course, sometimes the Directive will be right. Sometimes the thing you’re doing really is going to have nasty consequences that you’re blithely ignoring – just like Project Utopia is prone to.

    All right. That’ll do for a start. We still haven’t gotten into the actual rules aspect yet, but first I have to figure out how to actually run the game. But I think I can do this. I thiiiiink I can do this.

  • Aberrant readthrough: Player’s Guide and Underworld

    Aha! Ahahahaha! I did it! I read the whole stupid thing! Half of it I didn’t particularly like and the other half I outright loathed, but I got through it all and now I can despise it while fully informed!

    … sometimes I think the Internet has just broken me.

    Anyway, here’s the last stretch. First off we have the Player’s Guide, which is usually the title in any game line where they cram in anything and everything they couldn’t find a place for anywhere else. Let’s see if there are some nuggets in there.

    We start off badly with the infamous This Is Not The Superfriends essay, where we are berated for being so unimaginative as to play superheroes. Why, if we would only open our minds a little, we could play far more interesting things like… er… hmm… a teleporting courier of some sort! Or a mentally disabled pro wrestler! Don’t you see, the possibilities are endless! But suuuure, you can play a game where you wear tights and have code names and punch villains, if that’s really the level you want to stay on. Like, if you’re a complete philistine you could do that, yes.

    Uh-huh. Here’s the problem with that. Well, there are many problems with that, but here’s the main problem with that. The game doesn’t offer any sort of support at all for playing one of those “more creative, more realistic” character types. And I know this for a fact, because I have read through the whole stupid thing so I can have an informed opinion! In the game that is delivered over sixteen books, of which this one is the fifteenth, most character you encounter wear tights. And have code names. And punch, if not villains, then at least people they don’t like. The situations you’re set up to encounter tend to involve international intrigue and looming large-scale disaster, not navel-gazing reveries of how it would really feel to have superpowers, you know, really, I mean really.

    And there is a very good reason for that, which is that it’s hard to even imagine what a game about navel-gazing reveries would even look like or how you’d play it. Immersion is all very well, and there should certainly be more to most games than just rolling to hit, but you also need some kind of tangible conflict to interact with. And that was something White Wolf always seemed to acknowledge only reluctantly and with the greatest distaste, because ew, dice-rolling, how uncultured.

    Okay, I’m five pages in and already I’m ranting, I’d better move along…

    Immediately after the section about how shallow and boring you are for wanting to play a character with a code name… we get a long worldbuilding section about how novas choose their code names. Because this game is immune to irony. Okay, so I understand it’s really because the different chapters were written by different people who didn’t communicate very well, but still, you couldn’t have created a better example of tonal mismatch if you’d tried to…

    And following that is a long worldbuilding section about novas acting as vigilantes. Are we sure they weren’t intentionally parodying themselves at this point?

    There’s a semi-useful part about how you rise in the ranks as part of different factions, and what Backgrounds you might gain to symbolise your new assets. There’s also a rundown of each Background, later on, that provides a bit more guidance for how it might actually be used. That’s cool. Also, someone realised that the Eufibre Background (which gives you… a spandex suit that won’t get shredded by your powers) was underwhelming, so now there’s also the option to use it to make your suit change shape, have it send out tentacles or form wings and just generally do the whole Venom-symbiote thing. That’s even cooler.

    There’s a section of rules for going into space. Which is nice, I guess, very superhero-y… but it’d be even nicer if there was actually anything out there to get excited over. I mean, I’m pretty sure sentient alien life exists in the Aberrant universe, but apparently we’re not going to be using that until Trinity?

    The OpNet gets a bit more description and it’s even more hilariously obvious that it’s basically the Internet of today. Like, credit where it’s due, they anticipated a lot of upcoming possibilities and annoyances at a time when dial-up modems were still state of the art. We also get stats for a pair of nova documentary-makers. Okay, I guess that might be useful at some point…

    Novas used to exist before N-Day! They were weaker, but they were around, and people only don’t know that because Project Proteus has shushed it up (for… some reason?). So you can play a historical Aberrant game if you want to use these piece-of-crap rules without the piece-of-crap setting. Whatever.

    We finally get a look behind the curtain of the Aeon Society (I may not have mentioned them. They’re the vaguely benevolent secret conspiracy of rich people who founded and run Project Utopia), and some general setting information about just what quantum powers actually are. In addition to novas, there is also something called psiads who don’t control quantum energies but “noetic energies,” which are basically magic, as if quantum powers weren’t… Anyway, psiads are weaker than novas and have subtler powers, but they don’t suffer Taint, so that’s nice. The Aeon Society knows about psiads and are discreetly researching them.

    There’s also a third kind of super called paramorphs, but you can’t play one of those. There’s only one in existence and he’s super-cool and wonderful and godlike and DEAR LORD, I’m so glad that the game ended before we got to see more of that guy because I’d have ended up hating him more than Divis Mal. He also effectively runs the Aeon Society and thus in extension Project Utopia, but he’s totally not responsible for anything bad Project Utopia does because he’s just too noble to use brute, authoritarian force to get them to stop vivisecting people. Arrrgggghhhhh.

    There are new nova powers. They are boring. You know, that bears repeating. The powers in this White Wolf game… are boring. That would be White Wolf, famous for being terrible at power mechanics but great at power flavour. You read a game like Exalted and go over the Charm lists, and you keep going, “oooooh, that’s cool. It’s absolutely, completely useless and I’d be screwing myself over by taking it instead of something that just gave me a flat dice bonus, but it sure is cool.” This game fails at the thing that the writers built their brand on being good at. Let that sink in.

    There are overpowered powers that the players are never, ever, in a million years going to be able to buy and that are just there to justify the abilities of uber-NPCs. They are boring too.

    There are rules for creating artificial superpower-gizmos like freeze rays and jet packs and stuff. They are delivered with a lot of sniffing and sneering and “well, if you must have them, here they are.” Yeah, you really hate the idea that power might come from something other than inherent speshulness, don’t you?

    The book wraps with some “nova affiliations” (superteams. They’re superteams). That’s a thing I have actually asked for, so that’s nice. Nippontai finally gets outlined, and so does a Scandinavian team (except the writers seem to think that the Netherlands are part of Scandinavia…), an Australian team, a doomsday prepper team living in Antarctica (first mentioned back in The Directive, finally described here), a psychic team (that includes some psiads who don’t realise they’re psiads and not novas), an ecoterrorist team (who kill and torture people, and which the writers clearly meant for the players to be able to join. Yeah…), a team that explores space, and a gay team (I haven’t said anything about the game’s strident LGBT activism and I’m not going to start now, but… yeah, that was a cause the writers were clearly very passionate about). Well, that helps, actually I’d kind of have liked to see a similar writeup of the four Team Tomorrow groups, since they’re supposed to be the most high-profile group in existence, but, well…

    What we do get is a membership roster of… Teen Tomorrow (ugh. Too cute), the teen superhero team. Which is such a terrible idea in a “realistic” setting that even Caestus Pax, authoritarian strawman that he is, is against it, but here they are anyway. And they have a Teragen counterpoint called the Kabal. Ugh.

    Well, that wraps it up. Then all that remains is:

    You know those crime syndicates that have hung around in the background for the entire game line? The ones that seem custom-made to provide antagonists but that are so vaguely defined as to give you nothing to work with? Well, here we finally get a closer look at them, and it turns out that they… do criminal-syndicate stuff.

    Well, that was sure worth waiting fifteen books for!

    Sigh. To be a little more specific, when Project Utopia ended crime as one of its opening moves (which it apparently did by loopholing the use of super-senses and mindreading as not counting as illegal surveillance and therefore being admissible in court, in a move that should definitely have gotten every halfway-sincere human rights activist up in arms but was apparently accepted by any but a few malcontents because “everyone was tired of seeing the mobsters get away with stuff”… I hate this game so much), the crooks who were smart and ruthless enough to not get caught banded together into four super-syndicates that now rule the underworld. Which is… convenient for ease of use, if nothing else; you don’t have to read up on the particulars of Mexican drug cartels when there’s just one big organisation that does all the drug-smuggling from Latin America.

    There’s the Camparelli-Zhokov Mega-Syndicate. They’re the Sicilian mafia that’s teamed up with the Russian mafia so that we can have everything called “the mafia” under one umbrella, and never mind that they don’t actually have much to do with each other… There’s the Heaven Thunder Triads, who are Chinese and mystical and insidious and filthy and did I mention that this book has a sidebar berating you for indulging in ethnic stereotypes? There’s the Nakato Gumi, who are the yakuza and hyper-modern and also effectively allied with the Directorate (because the Nakato Gumi owns Kuro-Tek, which is a Japanese company that produces all sorts of interesting weapons that Utopia doesn’t want people to have). And there’s the Medellín Cartel, who are South American drug smugglers and also Nazis for some reason.

    Naturally, the book does a lot of humming and hawing and trying to nudge you away from actually using its content. See, Project Utopia doesn’t actually want to fight crime (they want to attack the “root causes,” apparently), and the syndicates don’t actually have a lot of nova operatives for them to fight, so, you know, are you sure you wouldn’t rather play a mentally disabled pro wrestler? But fine, if you absolutely must, you can fight gangsters, or play gangsters, just as long as you keep in mind that it doesn’t actually matter to the setting in any way.

    The book closes with a sample character. Who is… Spider-Man. Except a crook. So now we have that.

    And that’s it, I’m done. I hope you enjoyed my increasingly deranged ranting, though I can’t really say the same. Next week, I might try to put together some kind of closing thoughts, and then I’ll see about writing about something I don’t actually hate. Now that’ll be a nice change of pace…

  • The Imperial weisenheimer

    The Imperial weisenheimer

    I still haven’t finished any of the remaining Aberrant books. I started on Underworld just to see if it was any easier than Player’s Guide, and it was, a little, but not enough to let me get through more than a third of it. I am so done with this game, I kid you not…

    I have, on the other hand, started sketching out my next Dark Heresy port in a little more detail. I give you, The Adept! I think here I have come up with a reasonably workable way of presenting someone whose superpower is to know a lot of stuff without having to turn each one into a separate move, Corruption has also been personalised so that each Career moves towards a different tragic end, but in a way that hopefully feels cool and flavourful instead of being a chore.

    We’ll see how the rest turn out – I’m sketching on The Arbitrator now.

    THE ADEPT

    Origins:

    [ ] Forge World
    The hyper-competitive environment fostered by the Tech-Priests taught you that academia is just another form of war. You can spend 1 Righteous Fury to get +1 forward to any Analytical roll.

    [ ] Imperial World
    As a scribe for the Administratum, you have a thorough understanding of the logistical underpinnings of the eternal war effort. You gain the Subject: War for your Common Lore move.

    [ ] Schola Progenium
    At the Schola, you were submitted to the rigours of a classical education. You gain the Subject: Philosophy for your Common Lore move.

    Starting moves:

    [X] Common Lore
    Choose 1 Subject from the list below, and also gain Imperium as a Subject. When you encounter one of your Subjects (your decide), tell the GM which weighty tome you once read something related to the situation in, and in what way the author of said volume was biased, sloppy, or otherwise not entirely reliable. Then ask the GM a question pertaining to the Subject and situation. The GM tells you the answer insofar as you would reasonably know it, keeping in mind the flaws of your source.

    • Adeptus Arbites
    • Administratum
    • Astromancy
    • Bureaucracy
    • Chymistry
    • Ecclesiarchy
    • Imperial Creed
    • Heraldry
    • Legend
    • Machine Cult
    • Occult
    • Tech

    [X] Researcher
    When you can use a library to research a topic, you are considered to have access to every Subject the library covers for purposes of using the Common Lore move. However, searching a library takes a while – the GM decides exactly how much, but certainly more than the mere seconds to recall something you already know.

    Basic moves:

    [ ] Attentive
    No detail, however insignificant, is beneath the notice of a true bureaucrat. Increase Intuitive by 1.

    [ ] Brilliant
    Your rational mind is honed to perfection. Increase Analytical with 1.

    [ ] Common Lore: Well-Read
    Requires Common Lore. Choose 2 additional Subjects for your Common Lore move.

    [ ] Common Lore: Scholar
    Requires Common Lore: Well-Read. Choose 2 additional Subjects for your Common Lore move.

    [ ] Contempt for the Flesh
    When you endure the effects of heat, cold or fatigue, roll +Disciplined instead of +Unyielding.

    [ ] Delver Into Forbidden Lore
    Requires Forbidden Lore. When you can use a library to research a topic, you are considered to have access to every Subject the library covers for purposes of using the Forbidden Lore move.

    [ ] Forbidden Lore
    Choose 1 Subject from the list below. When you ask a question about one of your Subjects, you gain 1 Corruption Point and the GM tells you what you might reasonably know. She then asks you what tale of horror you encountered this blasphemous fact in.

    • Cults
    • Heresy
    • Inquisition
    • Mutants

    [ ] Gopher
    When you fearlessly advance on the direct orders of a theoretical superior, roll +Disciplined instead of +Fierce.

    [ ] Logical Extrapolation
    When you assess the available facts, roll +Analytical. 10-14, you make an educated deduction about something interesting that has previously happened in this place,. 15+, the same, and the GM also tells you where and how you might try to learn more about it.

    [ ] Medicae
    When you provide medical care, roll +Analytical. 9-, you clean the injuries, but that’s all you can do without more expert help or more advanced facilities. 10-14, the patient immediately heals 1d5 Wounds. No further uses of this move is possible on the patient until they have either taken or healed at least 1 Wound. 15+, the same, but the patient heals 1d10 Wounds.

    [ ] Mind Like a Fortress
    Increase your Corruption Limit by 3.

    [ ] The Men of the Mind
    When you command their respect towards scribes, bureaucrats or scholars, roll +Analytical instead of +Charismatic.

    [ ] Speak Language
    When you hear a strange tongue for the first time, roll +Analytical. 9-, the language or dialect is unknown to you. 10-14, thanks to your studies, you can communicate a bit awkwardly in the language or dialect. 15+, you speak the language or dialect like you were born to it.

    [ ] Stickler
    You are a slave to proper procedure. Increase Disciplined by 1.

    [ ] Unremarkable
    When you stay beneath notice by mindlessly carrying out dreary, time-consuming tasks, roll +Disciplined. 7-9, clear an Exposure box, but without something to occupy your mind with, it strays to dangerous topics. Gain 1 Corruption Point. 10+, the same, but you fill your mind with nothing but servile piety and escape Corruption.

    Advanced moves:

    [ ] Armour of Contempt
    When you roll to gain Corruption Points (NOT when you gain a fixed number of them), reduce the result by 2.

    [ ] The Art of War
    You line up a shot with the same care that you apply proper punctuation. Increase Precise by 1.

    [ ] Common Lore: Walking Encyclopedia
    Requires Common Lore: Scholar. Choose 2 additional Subjects for your Common Lore move.

    [ ] Common Lore: Savantus Supremus
    Requires Common Lore: Walking Encyclopedia. Choose 2 additional Subjects for your Common Lore move.

    [ ] Cross-Disciplinary
    Select an Advance from another Career.

    [ ] Forbidden Lore: Dangerous Obsession
    Requires Forbidden Lore: Unhealthy Interest. Choose 1 additional Subject for your Forbidden Lore move.

    [ ] Forbidden Lore: Unhealthy Interest
    Requires Forbidden Lore. Choose 1 additional Subject for your Forbidden Lore move.

    [ ] Its Gates Locked and Barred
    Requires Mind Like a Fortress. Increase your Corruption Limit by 3.

    [ ] Lecturer
    You have learned that people are more likely to listen to your rants if you make them interesting. Increase Charismatic by 1.

    [ ] Master Chirurgeon
    Requires Medicae. When you provide medical care, the patient heals 2 Wounds more than indicated.

    [ ] Practical Application
    Select an Advance from another Career.

    [ ] Pragmatic
    A rational person takes whatever path promises the greatest probability of success. Increase Treacherous by 1.

    [ ] Scurrying Rat
    Requires Gopher. When you circumvent a threat by staying out of sight and relying on little-used paths, roll +Analytical instead of +Treacherous.

    [ ] Sound Constitution
    Increase your Wound Limit by 3.

    [ ] Total Recall
    Requires Brilliant. You can perfectly memorise large swaths of information. You can always ask the GM for any detail of your past life experience, no matter how seemingly trivial or irrelevant at the time. If given a few moments, you can completely memorise maps, lists, documents, etc, and later examine them at your leisure from memory.

    Corruption moves:

    [ ] Blasphemous Insight. Your thoughts have escaped the safe confines of Imperial thought, proving you with flexibility of thought at the cost of growing corruption. When you apply your intellect, you may choose to take +1 forward to the roll at the cost of gaining 1 Corruption Point.

    [ ] Powerful Secrets. Your study into esoteric knowledge has allowed you to kindle the natural psychic ability of all humans. Choose 2 Minor Psychic Powers from the Imperial Psyker’s list. You can activate them at the cost of gaining 1 Corruption Point per activation. When doing so, you must chant and gesture in a way that anyone even slightly knowledgeable will recognise as sorcerous.

    [ ] Thirst for the Unholy. Every taste of the terrible truths of the world renews your will to go on even as it damns your soul. When you roll to gain Corruption Points (not when you gain a fixed amount of them), hold Righteous Fury.

    [ ] You can no longer resist the temptation to use the secrets you have learned. You immediately attempt an ill-fated sorcerous invokation that gets out of control and rips open a hole into the Warp, into which you disappear screaming never to be seen again. Make a new character.

  • I have done actual stuff!

    I have done actual stuff!

    I didn’t manage to complete the Aberrant Player’s Guide this week – it’s long and it’s boring, and I’ve been distracted by more interesting things. See, it occurred to me that instead of reading PDFs of an outdated 90s game that I hate… I could read PDFs of outdated 90s games that I might actually like. I know, it’s a crazy idea, but what if I did something to not be miserable?

    Still, my Aberrant readthrough will eventually be finished, if it so kills me – I have one and a half book left, surely I can do it. And while I’m at it, I also intend to finish that loathsome piece of smirking, YouTube-spawned zoomer dreck Daggerheartat some point. I refuse to be beaten by self-righteous hacks, be they 90s hipster edgelords or 20s woke snowflakes!

    But, just for this week, I figured I’d actually post some work on my own projects for a bit. My attention span hasn’t been the greatest, but I’ve managed to put in some actual work on three different ones.

    THE DARK HERESY PORT

    My Dark Heresy port… works. That’s about the best you can say for it. It works, it’s not actively painful to use, it’s better (subjective statement, I know!) than the original rules. But it’s still not good. It’s over-complicated. It’s dense. It’s got lots of things that will never get used. It lacks the sort of punch that PbtA games should have, the sense of providing the flavour explicitly instead of trying to make it an emergent property of a hundred fiddly modifiers.

    So this week, I started scribbling on a new version. I’m keeping a lot of things from the old, but I’m stripping the basic moves down to one per Characteristic. I’m also renaming the Characteristics to make them represent personal qualities more so than raw talent – for example, I’m renaming Strength to Fierce, and you roll +Fierce to push forward, to advance, to remove obstacles. Like so:

    Weapon Skill – Lethal
    Ballistic Skill – Precise
    Strength – Fierce
    Toughness – Unyielding
    Agility – Treacherous
    Perception – Intuitive
    Willpower – Disciplined
    Fellowship – Charismatic
    Intelligence – Analytical

    I’m also merging Insanity and Corruption together into a single pool of “mental hit points.” Keeping track of them both just seems pointless, because honestly, I can’t remember many places in the fiction where anyone went crazy without being implied to be in some way corrupted or under demonic influence. Also, each Career gets three pre-defined conditions that they hit the first, second and third time they exceed their maximum number of Corruption Points. So for instance, the Adept becomes increasingly obsessed with blasphemous lore and ends up summoning daemons, the Arbitrator becomes less and less able to compromise and ends up getting himself killed in a pointless last stand, the Tech-Priest’s bionics take over more and more until he’s a prisoner in a body now wholly run by cogitors… and so on.

    Finally, I’m introducing two collective tracks: Exposure and Intel. Whenever the players make a mess, they mark Exposure, and once all the boxes are marked the enemy knows who they are and start seriously gunning for them. Whenever the players discover an important clue or valuable piece of intelligence, they mark Intel, and once all the boxes are marked they become able to call the Inquisition and request backup, or commandeer local Imperial forces in the Inquisition’s name.

    It’s still sketchy, and I don’t know how long it will take me to finish, especially with everything else I want to do… but I have a good feeling about this. Of course, I seem to recall saying that about the last two versions, too…

    THE MAGE: THE ASCENSION PORT

    One of the old PDFs I’m reading is actually the first edition of Mage: the Ascension and… do you realise that Mage used to be fun? Like, there used to be things to do, instead of just being dropped in a dreary world and being told to come up with your own motivation. You could use magick to do actual cool things, instead of the cool things being gated off behind unrealistic numbers of successes. And the Paradox rules actually offered some guidance for what sort of problems might occur at what levels of Paradox, instead of just shrugging and telling you to figure it out. I mean, Mage always fascinated me, but I started writing a port for it largely because I could think of absolutely no way to run it as it was and wanted to invent some workable structure for it. I guess I was reinventing the wheel.

    Anyway, that’s a lot of new ideas that I might look at implementing, but this week, what I actually did was sit down and iron out some better guidelines for Avatar Essence. I fear I’ve been frightfully inconsistent with what does and does not qualify a spell for that +1 bonus from a mage’s Essence, and since Arete rolls are locked at +0 for a long time, that bonus is kind of important.

    So here’s what I’ve come up with for now, and that I think might work:

    • If your Essence is Dynamic, take +1 to any Arete roll meant to radically alter a situation or infuse it with more energy. If it makes a mess, it can be justified as a Dynamic Effect. Creation and destruction are both highly possible, and so is transformation – the frequent problem is going to be making the changes drastic enough to qualify as Dynamic without resorting to vulgar magick. You can’t just shift around a few pieces, the very rules of the game must change in some way. Knowledge spells are almost entirely impossible to claim as Dynamic Effects – understanding the current situation implies a state of mind that assumes it will remain relatively unchanged, and that is against all the Dynamic Avatar stands for.
    • If your Essence is Pattern, take +1 to Arete rolls to make use of what already exists, without adding or removing from it. If you are playing off something that is already in the scene, you can probably justify it as a Pattern Effect. It is difficult to use Pattern to create anything whole cloth or to completely destroy, but you can “improve” on what is already there or put their pre-existing flaws into play. Likewise, transformation is possible, but only to make things either sturdier or more complicated, never to both weaken and simplify them (for example, you might sprinkle perfectly symmetrical holes throughout the surface of a door, thus making it more complicated but also more brittle and easier to break. You could not claim Pattern for just making the door rotten, since that would make it more fragile without adding to its complexity). Spells of pure knowledge are the hardest to justify; the Pattern Avatar is jealous of information and considers everything to be on a need-to-know basis, though you can sometimes sneak something through by baking into the spell the idea that you need to better understand something in order to strengthen it or obey its rules.
    • If your Essence is Primordial, take +1 to Arete rolls to remove things, especially barriers and restore the original, unconstrained state of things. The Primordial Avatar dislikes forcing anything to be, but you can get a lot of mileage out of removing the reasons for it not to be and then letting nature take its course. Pure knowledge spells are relatively easy to manage as long as you can argue that you are removing something that is “blocking your sight”; for example, you could see through a wall by removing its ability to hide what was behind it. Pattern Effects can also be used quite easily to either heal (by “removing weakness and damage”) or destroy (by “removing strength and wholeness”).
    • If your Essence is Questing, take +1 to Arete rolls to experience the world, either by expanding your senses or by introducing yourself into interesting situations. Pure knowledge spells are always allowed as Questing Effects, but spells that actually do something are harder – they generally need to be justified as serving to move yourself into a position where you can learn things. Questing can never be used to keep something at arm’s length or to remain stationary and let the world move around you, only in either affecting or facilitating your own movement through the world.

    It is possible to make an Effect draw on an Essence by defining it more tightly than the Spheres actually demand. For instance, a Disciple of Entropy Effect can disable any inanimate system, but this would not be a Questing Effect since most inanimate systems don’t block the mage’s movement (it would work fine as a Primordial Effect, since it would be dissolving artificial structures). However, defining the Effect to only target locks, bolts, and fetters in the mage’s path would let it be cast as a Questing Effect, since it would then be clearly in the service of the Questing Avatar’s goals. Assume that the Avatar is sentient and intent on enforcing its idea of the mage’s destiny; it will “bless” certain spells and not others, depending on whether those spells are in line with how it sees its purpose.

    Likewise, it is possible to align an Effect with an Essence by making mundane actions part of its casting. For example, an Apprentice of Entropy Effect to detect a flaw in an enemy’s fighting style can’t be a Primordial Effect, since it can’t be justified as removing a boundary (the flaw, if it exists, is right there – your problem isn’t seeing it, it’s recognising it). However, an Akashic might create an Effect in the form of a “conflict-ending blow” that instantly and non-lethally incapacitated an enemy by unbalancing her at a split instance of weakness. Since the casting of the Effect could only be used to end a fight at least for the time being and could not be used to acquire knowledge without immediately acting on it, it could be justified as a Primordial Effect. The Effects blessed by the Essences can overlap – something could be both a Dynamic Effect and a Questing Effect (such as a personal teleportation spell; both a drastic change and a way for the mage to move into a more advantageous position), or both a Pattern Effect and a Primordial Effect (such as a spell to render poisoned water drinkable; it would at once improve the water for the purposes of being drunk and remove its harmful qualities). However, when codified into a Rote, an Effect always has the Essence chosen by the mage who created the Rote.

    Again, it needs more work, but I think this will actually provide the sort of flavour I want.

    MONSTROUS MISHAPS (FOR ONCE!)

    Finally, I managed to do some actual work on one of my actual original games. Will wonders never cease? I’m trying to get the quickstart for my perpetually-almost-finished game Monstrous Mishaps together. I have gotten to the chapter on GMing, and that’s hard, because… er… I suck at writing GMing advice, as it turns out. It’s funny, I have no problem writing player advice, but for GMs I keep trying to think of something more helpful than, “just do it properly! You know, properly. Like, not in the way that causes me actual pain to watch. Do it in the way that isn’t like that. Jerks.”

    I don’t know. GMing is more an art than a science for me, I guess…

    Anyway, I did manage to put together ten suggested plot hooks, to give the reader a better idea of what sort of thing you get up to in Monster World.

    • A rival Monster managed to dump a barrel full of Jell-Oh over one of the PCs in full view of the Court. Now the PC has to find some way to PWN the prankster right back, or they’ll be a laughingstock for months.
    • Against his better judgment, a PC posted bail for his no-good brother-in-law, and then the jerk failed to show up for his court date. Time to go turn over every rock he might have crawled under, while an inept police detective is certain that the PC is hiding the fugitive and keeps interfering.
    • A PC’s boss is coming over for dinner. Nothing must go wrong! The problem is, the PCs live in a Maze, which is to say, a perverse haunted house with no regard for their career prospects…
    • A PC’s best mate has lost his job and his apartment, and a PC has graciously let him crash at her place until he can get back on his feet. However, after several months of him doing nothing but hanging around pitying himself, the cohabitation is starting to become a drag. The PC is going to have to somehow both find him a new job and get him to shape up enough to keep it.
    • A PC has somehow attracted an annoying Haunting that inflicts a taboo on him – whenever he hears a bell ring, he has to immediately do a silly song and dance routine or else suffer an unlikely and painful accident. There’s a counterspell to get rid of the curse, but it requires a bunch of bizarre ingredients that must be gathered from all over town. Too bad that the annual Bell-Ringing Festival is just around the corner.
    • A PC’s rich aunt wants him to babysit her bratty son for the afternoon. He’d better come back in one piece, or she’ll make some alterations to her will. The kid resents being babysat and has absolutely zero self-preservation.
    • A sneaky Slayer has spread the vicious rumour that a PC has been seen kicking a puppy. The good news is, the animal shelter needs volunteers, giving the PC an excellent opportunity to prove what an animal lover she really is. How hard can it possibly be to take care of a few dozen maladjusted critters with simmering grudges against all of humanity?
    • A PC has inherited an old house that needs to be cleaned out so they can sell it. This will require not only dealing with a bunch of squatters who aren’t happy about being ousted, but a grumpy Haunting that’s just woken up as well.
    • A PC’s ex-husband is refusing to share custody of their pet parakeet. Dragging him to court would probably not help, so there is nothing to it but a bout of parakeet-napping. Problem is, the ex is a Monster too, so it will require traversing his Maze.
    • The lady who accidentally ran into a PC’s mailbox last week is not only refusing to pay for damages. No, she’s also countersuing for emotional damages of the PC having irresponsibly placed a mailbox where innocent people might need to drive. The PC’s enemies are all too happy to offer damning character testimony, so the PC needs to find just as many people to assure the judge of what a nice fellow he is.

    So there you go. Three actual samples of what I’m working on right now. Yes, Aberrant is so bad that it’s driving me to try to do better myself. Which is, admittedly, a positive effect common to many bad games, so perhaps it fills some sort of function in the cosmic order after all…

  • Aberrant readthrough: Worldwide Phase Two

    We’re in the last quarter of our readthrough of first edition Aberrant, White Wolf’s not-very-successful attempt at a superhero game. So far, the my reaction has been mainly annoyed boredom, with the occasional bout of psychotic rage. ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HATE! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HATE! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY HATE! ANTI-LIFE JUSTIFIES MY… ahem.

    This week’s collection of playable scenarios contain a bit of both.

    Like Worldwide Phase One, it contains four scenarios, all of which are meant to be playable for a group of any faction and which revolve around major global situations. In fact, in a lot of ways, I think that this collection is the best example of what you were meant to actually do in Aberrant – the previous one was more about pushing the metaplot (and repeatedly made the players little more than the audience for the same), but here the incidents are contained enough that the setting is pretty much the same at the end as it was at the beginning. So, what does your character do in Aberrant? Have four examples.

    SCENARIO ONE: THE POPE OF BABYLON

    Ungh. This is the “psychotic rage” portion of the book, right at the start. I mean, it’s not as bad as the Divis Mal ass-kissing in One, but… well, let’s take it from the start.

    The scenario is based on a plot hook from The Storyteller Companion, so again with the self-cannibalising… Anyway, it concerns a scheme by the eeeeeeevil Catholic organisation Opus Dei to eeeeeeevilly frame the cool, liberal Pope for crimes he did not commit, so as to politically neuter him. Did we mention that Opus Dei is eeeeeeeevil? Don’t worry if you missed it, the book will remind you. And remind you. And remind you.

    And, like… did the writers get that Opus Dei isn’t some fictional supervillain organisation? It’s an actual thing, with actual people in it! I’m sure a lot of those people are ones I wouldn’t particularly get along with, but they are flesh-and-blood human beings trying to live their best lives, and the writers are just straight up calling them brain-washed monsters. This is even worse than what they did last week, because at least the Church Astaroth and the Church of Michael Archangel are fictional organisations even if they are pretty clearly meant to stand in for all Satanists and all evangelicals respectively. Like, there was the fig leaf of them at least theoretically being works of fantasy. But here, it’s not some invented Catholic order that is totally-not-Opus-Dei-wink-wink-nudge-nudge. It’s just Opus Dei.

    White Wolf always had this… thing in all their games where they kept being frustrated that their audience kept engaging with the fantastic elements they actually put in their game instead of using it as a starting point for dealing with Real Important Issues. A lot of sidebars of variable bitchiness was spent chewing the reader out for ignoring the regular, non-magical parts of the modern world in favour of having vampires fight werewolves.

    With Aberrant, I guess, they were trying the novel approach of actually putting those Real Important Issues into the actual game instead of expecting their customers to do it for them. A lot of page count is genuinely dedicated to explaining how the real world works (or how the White Wolf writers thought it worked, at any rate – they had a tendency to be know-nothing know-it-alls) and how the players can affect it. It is, as far as it goes, a commendable step in the right direction.

    It also shows very clearly why it was and always would have been a really bad idea. Because, see, a roleplaying game requires villains, people that it’s okay to beat up. When you create your villains out of thin air, that is perfectly fine, and you should definitely ignore the wet blankets who whine about racism against orcs. But when you insist on your game being about interacting with the actual, as-is, no-names-changed real world… you are effectively taking some real people and saying, “these are villains. These are okay to hurt.”

    And that is not cool with me. No matter how little I would get along with those people, I will never agree with dehumanising a person who actually exists.

    And just in case you thought I was overreacting, the very last page of the scenario lets you know that that cool, liberal Pope that you’ve spent the scenario fighting to defend? He’s owned by the mafia. What, you thought there was such a thing as a good Catholic? Don’t be silly!

    I hate you, Aberrant. I really freaking hate you.

    SCENARIO TWO: A GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND

    This one is about an evil British aristocrat who’s erupted as a super-genius nova and who’s putting together a sinister scheme to return England to the top of the international food chain. He does so partly by means of a brain-washing cult disguised as a gentleman’s club. It’s… passable. I mean, it’s basically a slightly-more-realistic version of a supervillain plot, and that’s where Aberrant is the most comfortable, for better or worse.

    On the other hand, the multiple pages at the start that describe how England has turned into festering pile of decay from refusing to cooperate with Project Utopia… feels excessively mean-spirited. I mean, did we miss the part where Project Utopia is run by a bunch of yahoos whose laughable schemes always fail? You’d think that the writers would have some sympathy with the Brits wanting to keep those yahoos at arm’s length, but of course that’s not how it works. It’s only the glorious novas who shouldn’t let Project Utopia tell them what to do – those filthy baselines should know what’s best for them and bend the knee.

    I hate you, Aberrant. Though not, I admit, as much as I did after the first scenario. I mean, let’s face it, the British have a long and proud tradition of putting themselves down in very much the ways this book puts them down. I feel like Terry Pratchett would have been like, “well, they could have said it better, but they have a point…”

    SCENARIO THREE: DOMINION

    This one is about a megalomaniac trying to conquer the Ukraine. Ehehehehehe, yyyyyyyyeah, that’s a little more uncomfortable in the Year of Our Lord 2026 than it was when it was written, it must be said…

    Having that said, this one I don’t have any major problems with. I mean, it’s not great, and there are a couple of things I could pick on – a particular sidebar whining about how players always have to ruin Teh Story by having their characters, like, do stuff, for example – but I’ve already ranted my fill this week. Plus, it’s got novas actually fighting across a major city for military objectives, and that’s sort of hardcore in a good way.

    SCENARIO FOUR: WHERE HEAVEN ENDS

    This one is actually really good. I mean, the premise is that Project Proteus is trying to do something evil, again, and completely messing it up, again, in a way that causes a ton of trouble for everyone, again. And I’m honestly getting a little tired of Proteus being portrayed as this hyper-secretive group of super-geniuses who walk between the rain drops but are somehow still not capable of tying their own shoes. But the actual content? It’s solid.

    Specifically, Proteus is setting up a sting operation in the all-nova club The Amp Room in Ibiza to nab a whole bunch of Teragen and Aberrant members. But amazingly enough, storming into a place with several hundred superhuman beings who are most of them drunk off their asses and bellowing that everyone’s arrested… does not work out too well. In fact, it results in an all-out brawl that spreads across Ibiza and practically lays it in ruins.

    Meanwhile, the players are tasked with finding a couple of novas who have (it turns out) been kidnapped by an aspiring elite calling himself the Angel of Bones and who plans to execute them in front of a bunch of journalists to show off what a badass he is. They get a front-row seat to all the human misery of a natural disaster, while also having to dodge flying debris and quantum bolts from the fights that keep going on, and avoid attack helicopters from the militaries that are trying to restore order. It’s pretty intense, and it makes actual good use of the setting.

    Oh, and I mentioned last time that Aberrant might hate bulimics? Yeah, apparently the Angel of Bones used to be obese, and he erupted from trying to starve himself thin, so now he’s a walking skeleton who can kill people by causing them to gain several hundred pounds of fat in seconds. I’m… genuinely uncertain whether that is tasteless and offensive or if it’s so tasteless and offensive that it’s actually kind of awesome.

    Though the fact that it’s implied that Count “stop maliciously misquoting me, I only said you were like monkeys to me!” Orzaiz spends his captivity as a giant tub of lard to keep him from easily escaping? That I find genuinely hilarious. Welcome to life in the plus sizes, you smarmy bastard!