Tag: Game design

We have at least arrived at the last pregenerated character to create for my Monstrous Mishaps quickstart. For those who haven’t been following along, our previous entries were:

• Klaus Kleinmann, the Creep
• Winnie Wurmstein, the Hoarder
• Joachim Yapper, the Jerkass
• Zelda Zoom, the Kluts
• Bradley Bulle, the Loudmouth

For our big finish, we’re going to go traditional and create a Vampire – or a Moocher, as they are less politely known in Monster World. I figure we’ll make her an extremely lazy woman who uses her people skills to trick everyone else into doing stuff for her and prides herself on never having done an honest day’s work in her life. We’ll call her Marissa Mealey.

As a Moocher, Marissa needs to have an addiction to something – Vampires in Monstrous Mishaps don’t need to suck blood, but they do have to have a bad habit of some other kind to be angsty over. We’ll say that Marissa is addicted to expensive custom mattrasses, elaborate massages, acupuncture treatments, and anything else that can help the bad back she claims is keeping her from working.

Marissa obviously needs to be slick to be able to work scams and cons, so we’ll give her Basic (4) Mindgames and Schmoozing. She’s also nowhere to be found where work needs to be done, which includes being vigilant for signs that some is about to be handed out, so we’ll give her Limited (3) Hiding and Keenness. She’s not got much discipline, but she’s very stubborn about not needing to show any discipline, so she’s got Limited (2) Grit. Finally, her interest in traditional medicine for her back and her habit of selling fraudulent products of other sorts have given a smattering of occult knowledge, enough for Limited (2) Weirdness.

For some reason, I immediately imagine Marissa’s parents as taking her camping a lot as a kid, thus teaching her to properly hate everything that wasn’t comfortable and air-conditioned, so we’ll give her the Forced to Go Camping childhood for +1 to Camping. She was actually a convincing outsider in her teens (hey, she is a Vampire!) so she’s got the Freaky Kid adolesence for +1 to Weirdness. These days, she is a small-time confidence trickster by trade, making her a Criminal, so +1 to Hiding. She’s got another +1 to Camping and Schmoozing from her Breed (Vampires are seductive and quite good with “ze children of ze night”), so she ends up with Limited (3) Camping, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Basic (4) Mindgames, Basic (5) Schmoozing, and Limited (3) Weirdness.

As far as Values go, Marissa doesn’t like to ruffle feathers – it’s too much of a bother! She also believes in everyone’s fundamentally equal worth, since that means less pressure to do stuff. Thus, she holds to Harmony and Egalitarianism.

For Monstrosity and Dooms, I think I’ll punch it up to the max and give Marissa Basic (5) Monstrosity right from the start. After all, her lack of ambition is unlikely to have granted her any material success, but she’s great at looking dark and mysterious and Vampire-like. I’ll sink the points into Basic (4) Siren’s Voice to make it easier for her to make herself seem trustworthy, and put the last point into Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity – maybe being good at imitating animal sounds will impress some people who’ll think she’s One With Nature or some such?

All told, here’s Marissa:

MARISSA MEALEY

Breed: Moocher

Childhood: Forced to Go Camping
Adolescence: Freaky Kid
Adulthood: Criminal

Values: Harmony, Egalitarianism

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Basic (4) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Basic (5) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Basic (4) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Basic (5) Monstrosity, Basic (5) Pretension, Minimal (1) Respectability

Dooms: Basic (4) Siren’s Voice, Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity

Pools: HP 6, GP 7, SP 6, BP 1, FP 5

For her first Friend, we’ll pick the Stereotype, Problem and Discord at random – I think we’ve used pretty much every single one at this point anyway. We’ll go with Alpha, Occult Lightning Rod and High Maintenance, a combination that makes me think of some sort of pushy nightmare customer, a retail person’s bad day incarnate.

MARISSA’S FRIEND #1: THERESE TELLER

Therese is Marissa’s only repeat customer, a woman always in the market for some new dodgy food supplement or pyramid energy regimen. That makes her quite handy for Marissa, but the downside is that the reason why Therese is so anxious for anything to make her life better is that her life is preternaturally bad. A dark cloud of inexplicable misfortune always seems to be hovering over her head, cursing her with odd ailments and strange maladies. She’s happy to accept Marissa’s cures for them… but she’ll also come pounding on Marissa’s door whenever they invariably fail to work, forcing the Moocher to improvise madly to keep the money flowing.

Stereotype: Alpha
Problem: Occult Lightning Rod
Discord: High Maintenance

Values: Harmony

Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Limited (2) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (5) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 5

For the second Friend, we’ll pick Romantic, Paper Tiger, and You’re Not the Boss of Me. That gives us someone who’s hot-blooded and warm-hearted, but perhaps a bit soft-headed as well…

MARISSA’S FRIEND #2: PEPPER LOVEGOOD

Marissa’s long-time best friend Pepper is on a quest for true love, something that confuses Marissa, since love seems like the definition of doing a bunch of bothersome stuff for no particular reward. This cynical viewpoint has not been helped by her having had a front row seat to Pepper’s dismal taste in men, most of whom have indeed been ne’er-do-wells who have emptied her wallet, enlisted her in their projects, and cheated vigorously on her all the while. Getting Pepper to realise that her latest romance is just as unhealthy as the last tends to strain even Marissa’s skills at argumentation, however.

Stereotype: Romantic
Problem: Paper Tiger
Discord: You’re Not the Boss of Me

Values: Stoicism, Egalitarianism, Justice

Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (5) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Limited (2) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (3) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1), Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (3) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Basic (4) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (5) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 2, SP 4, BP 5

For Marissa’s Rival, let’s go with a Deadbeat (think a stoner-slacker Zombie) who resents Marissa for having it much easier than her. I figure that she’ll be hanging around and staring creepily at Marissa through windows like some kind of haunting ghost, all while looking to “steal her life” in some vaguely defined way. We’ll pick the Approach of Shadow, the Feud of Destined and the Redemption of Tragedy for her.

MARISSA’S RIVAL: SALLY SLOUCH

Sally grew up in miserable poverty and had to work very hard to get anywhere in life. This makes her intensely resentful of Marissa, who, while also miserably poor, seems to manage to avoid working at all. Having been told by a less-than-trustworthy fortuneteller that there will come a time when their fates can be exchanged, Sally is now plotting to bring the right occult conditions about so that she can become the slacker and Marissa the wage-slave… at least when she’s not too tired to plot.

Approach: Shadow
Feud: Destined
Redemption: Tragedy

Breed: Deadbeat

Values: Tradition, Utilitarianism

Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Basic (7) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Basic (4) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

Dooms: Minimal (1) Ancient’s Wisdom, Minimal (1) Revenant’s Miasma, Minimal (1) Titan’s Prowess

Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 3, FP 3

For Marissa’s Enemy, we’ll turn her stats inside-out as usual, and we end up with someone with decent Scores at Asskicking and Paperpushing, the two Legend Abilities for the Dweeb Legend. Dweebs, you see, are a kind of Slayers who like to think that they’re Paladins, so they punch you very hard in the face, but only when it’s legally justifiable. Well, a devoted crusader out to get a Vampire? That gives you a rather obvious idea, I should think.

MARISSA’S ENEMY: ABIGAIL VAN HECKNING

A petulant suburban brat of the first order, Abigail always longed for a life of adventure, Gothic romance, and having a proper excuse for hanging out in graveyards. As such, it’s perhaps no surprise that she was Called as a Slayer, and she has taken to it with gusto. She is determined to put an end to Marissa’s cursed unlife, but of course she has to figure out a way to do it that won’t get her into, you know, trouble of any kind – otherwise, her parents would ground her! Still, she’s confident that if she just hangs around and bugs Marissa enough, she’ll eventually end up in a situation where pounding an oak stake through someone’s heart will qualify as “reasonble self-defense.”

Legend: Dweeb

Values: Stoicism, Excellence

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (4) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Basic (4) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (4) Calling, Basic (6) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 2, SP 4, BP 6

That’s it! We now have four full-feathered Monsters to send into the maws of adventure, along with supporting casts to anchor them into the setting. Now I just need to figure out some kind of scenario that could accomodate any particular subset of them. Stay tuned.

Welcome back to my not-quite-weekly series of character creation in my lovingly hand-crafted game, Monstrous Mishaps. As those who hang around here know (there are some of you, right? I’m not talking exclusively to a bunch of net-thrawling bots?), MM is a parody urban fantasy game where the characters are supernatural creatures in human form… light on the “supernatural creature,” heavy on the “human form.” Upholding the dark splendour of Vampyredom when your powers of hypnotism amounts of having vaguely sincere eyes isn’t easy!

So far we have had a timid nerd of a Goblin, a happy-go-lucky occult investigator who’s actually a Dragon, a skeevy lawyer for a Demon, and a Giant with a need for speed. This week, the time has come to create a Loudmouth, which is to say, a human Harpy. Let’s make some noise.

Since I decided last time to not go for the obvious archetypes, I’ll forego making this dude a shock jockey vlogger or something. Instead, let’s make him a big, burly nurse. Hey, just because you have a foul mouth it doesn’t mean you can’t be nurturing, it just means that it’s always going to be tough love! We’ll call him Bradley Bulle.

As a health care professional, Brad will need a decent Quackery Score. Quackery is Derived from Camping and Nerdery, so let’s give him Basic (4) in both. Since I picture him as a big, looming guy, and of course he needs to be stubborn to deal with fussing patients, we’ll also give him Limited (3) Fitness and Limited (3) Grit. He’ll need to keep records, so we’ll let him have Limited (2) Paperpushing. Finally, we’ll give him Limited (2) Asskicking to better hold people down while they’re getting their shots.

I figure that Brad was interested in biology from an early age, so I’ll say he was a Bug Fancier as a child and an Eco Brat as a teenager. That gives him +1 each to Nerdery and Camping, for Basic (5) in both, so he’s got some actual professional competence – a rarity in the setting he lives in! As a nurse, I figure he’s effectively a Blue-Collar Schmoe, even if he’s an unusually well-educated one, so add 1 to his Fitness, leaving him at Basic (4). He gets +1 to Dramatics and +1 to Grit from being a Loudmouth, giving him Limited (2) in the one and Basic (4) in the other.

For Dooms, I’ll put a point in Siren’s Voice, just because I think it’s funny if Brad is such an imposing presence that he can get people’s attention by glaring at them from behind. He has to start with a point of Garuda’s Swiftness since that’s his Primary Doom as a Loudmouth, so he has Minimal (1) in both.

For Values, Brad is hard-working and stubborn, so he holds to Stoicism. I think he’s also very practical about morals, thinking that what matters is making things as good as possible for as many people as possible and never mind who has to get screwed over for it, so I’ll also give him Utilitarianism.

After calculating our Derived Abilities and Pools, we end up with this:

BRADLEY BULLE

Breed: Loudmouth

Childhood: Bug Fancier
Adolescence: Eco Brat
Adulthood: Blue-Collar Schmoe

Values: Stoicism, Utilitarianism

Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Basic (5) Camping, Limited (2) Dramatics, Basic (4) Fitness, Basic (4) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Basic (4) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (3) Intrusion, Basic (4) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Basic (5) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Limited (3) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (2) Monstrosity, Limited (2) Pretension, Basic (4) Respectability

Dooms: Minimal (1) Garuda’s Swiftness, Minimal (1) Siren’s Voice

Pools: HP 8, GP 9, SP 9, BP 4, FP 2

Next up is Friends. I have no particular ideas, so I’ll just reach into the grab-bag of Stereotypes, Problems and Discords for some that I haven’t used yet. I arbitrarily pick Arteest, The Enemy of the Good, and Big Brother is Watching. Combined with Brad’s grumpy I-don’t-have-the-energy-for-this-crap-so-take-your-medicine attitude, that suggests someone with a… different take on medicine.

Brad’s Friend #1: Frieda Fairweather

Frida is a fellow nurse at the clinic where Brad works, and she’s equally devoted to her job – in fact, she’s a tremendous perfectionist. Her idea of what is perfect, however, run very contrary to Brad’s and tend towards smiles being the best medicine and everyone’s personal lives needing to be micromanaged to ensure “inner health.” This would work out better if she actually had the people skills to be a functional soul-healer, but Brad had to admit (just not to her face) that she sometimes has a point.

Stereotype: Arteest
Problem: The Enemy of The Good
Discord: Big Brother is Watching

Values: Excellence

Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Limited (3) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (4) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Basic (4) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Limited (2) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 2, BP 4

Using the same method for the second Friend, I find myself with Careerist, Paper Tiger, and Smug Straight Edge. Hmm. Perhaps we have room for an edgy Internet personality after all?

Brad’s Friend #2: Sebastian Sajber

Sebastian and Brad attend the same gym and have bonded over their shared uncompromising stance on life. Sebastian has a modest side hustle having exaggerated opinions on lifestyle and politics online, and frequently uses local characters as inspiration for his rants, which has resulted in him having to meet Brad in a more professional capacity as well…

Stereotype: Careerist
Problem: Paper Tiger
Discord: Smug Straight Edge

Values: Stoicism

Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Limited (3) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Basic (7) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (3) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Basic (4) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (6) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 3, SP 3, BP 6

Moving on to the Rival, I scrape the barrel a little and find myself with Freak, Attention and Faith. That makes me picture some sort of wild-bearded street prophet yelling at people to repent. Let’s make him a fellow Loudmouth – Monsters of the same Breed butt heads more often than not (especially since having that be canon justifies player groups having diverse characters!).

Brad’s Rival: Nutty Elmir

Nutty Elmir is a local character who is a devoted member of the little-known Latter-Day Church of the Holy Hollering. In accordance with this holy creed, he spends his day walking around town with a sign, yelling verses from the Hollering Bible at people. Brad has gotten on his bad side due to their common ground – Brad just happens to be the town’s only other member of the Latter-Day Church of the Holy Hollering, and he’s taken to shouting back at Elmir and correcting his errors. Everyone else mostly just wishes they’d both be quiet, but they are, after all, on a mission from God.

Approach: Freak
Feud: Attention
Redemption: Faith

Breed: Loudmouth

Values: Individualism, Tradition

Primary Abilities: Limited (3) Asskicking, Basic (4) Camping, Basic (7) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (2) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (4) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Basic (5) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Basic (4) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Basic (4) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Basic (5) Volume, Limited (3) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

Dooms: Minimal (1) Garuda’s Swiftness, Minimal (1) Revenant’s Miasma, Minimal (1) Siren’s Voice

Pools: HP 8, GP 1, SP 4, BP 3, FP 3

Finally, the Enemy… which, for some variety, I’ll not make a Slayer but another Monster. A Monster Enemy is likely to be what is called an Abomination, which effectively means, “a Monster who is way way way the hell too into being a Monster, I mean, honestly!” We haven’t seen any Wussbags here until now, and they’re one of my favourite Breeds – they are effectively Lovecraftian entities that have a Lovecraftian neurotic fear and lothing of everything that’s the least bit upsetting – so let’s have one of those.

Brad’s Enemy: X-94-Zeta

X-94-Zeta, as she calls herself, is supposedly a scout for a proud and ancient Alien empire, sent to evaluate Earth for membership in the Galactic Federation. The Galactic Federation is all about peace and harmony and being nice to people, but it’s also got oddly rigid rules about honourable retribution against anyone who fails to be peaceful, harmonic, and nice to people. It only took X-94-Zeta five minutes in Brad’s company to decide that he needed to suffer in the name of cosmic justice.

Breed: Wussbag

Values: Harmony, Justice

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (4) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Limited (2) Nerdery, Basic (5) Paperpushing, Limited (2) Schmoozing, Basic (6) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Basic (4) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability
Dooms: Minimal (1) Ancient’s Wisdom, Minimal (1) Kraken’s Malleability, Minimal (1) Revenant’s Miasma

Pools: HP 6, GP 1, SP 2, BP 3, FP 3

There we go! One more nitwit, with a supporting cast, added to the pile. Next time will be the last character, who will be a smooth-talking Moocher. I’ll just have to think of something suitably ridiculous for her to have a dark, forbidden thirst for…

Hello and welcome back to my character-creation marathon. This week we’re going to create a Klutz, a seemingly regular woman who happens to actually be a very small Giant (who still breaks things as easily as a normal-sized Giant, because the world is unfair like that). Now, I feel like my offerings so far have been a little pedestrian – a timid nerd Creep and a skeevy lawyer Jerkass is honestly playing it very close to type. The two-fisted occult investigator Hoarder was a little better, but still… let’s try to do something different with our Klutz than “well-meaning guy who keeps knocking things over.”

So here’s my idea: instead of being awkward and ungainly, this character actually breaks a lot of things by accident precisely because she’s always rushing around and indulging her need for speed. She loves fast cars, and she considers speed limits to be timid suggestions at best. Let’s call her Zelda Zoom.

Driving, in Monstrous Mishaps, is handled by an Ability called Joyriding. Joyriding is a Derived Ability – you don’t put points in it, you calculate it as the average of two other, Primary Abilities, in this case Fitness (for the reflexes and sheer ruggedness required to operate high-powered vehicles) and Nerdery (for knowing how an engine works). Thus, we’ll start Zelda off with Basic (4) Fitness and Basic (4) Nerdery so she can stay on the road at least some of the time.

Continuing with the theme of a woman who’d fit right into Mad Max, we’ll give her Limited (3) Camping, and of course she’ll need Limited (3) Grit to dare to push the pedal to the metal. We’ll round it out with Limited (2) Keenness to look where she’s going (when she remembers) and Limited (2) Paperpushing to fill out all those insurance forms.

I figure that Zelda was darting around on her tricycle as soon as she was old enough to stand, so we’ll give her Metabolism of a Hummingbird for childhood. In school, she was actually kind of popular as a tough biker chick (a Cool Kid), and these days she’s a mechanic (a Technical Type) to be close to the beautiful engines. That bumps her Nerdery and Fitness up to Basic (5) and her Schmoozing up to Limited (2). Finally, her Breed Abilities as a Klutz are Nerdery and Fitness, so they get further increased to Basic (6).

For Dooms, we’ll take Basic (4) Titan’s Prowess – Zelda will need the Made of Iron Basic power from that Doom to give herself some extra resilience for all those crashes. That means that she has Basic (4) Pretension, meaning a solid amount of respect from her fellow Monsters, but Limited (2) Respectability since the repair bills are really doing a number on her bank account.

For Values, we’ll give her Excellence (she does so love a good race!) and Innovation (you can’t know that this shortcut doesn’t work until you’ve tried it…). All in all, Zelda ends up looking like this:

ZELDA ZOOM

Breed: Klutz

Childhood: Metabolism of a Hummingbird
Adolescence: Cool Kid
Adulthood: Technical Type

Values: Excellence, Innovation

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Basic (6) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Basic (6) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Limited (2) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Basic (4) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (3) Intrusion, Basic (6) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Basic (4) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Limited (3) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Basic (4) Monstrosity, Basic (4) Pretension, Limited (2) Respectability

Dooms: Basic (4) Titan’s Prowess

Pools: HP 8, GP 8, SP 7, BP 2, FP 4

For Zelda’s first Friend, we’ll create someone who’s equally invested in speed and vigour, though in her case it translates into a fanatical devotion to the local woman’s curling team. Call her Olive Oatley. We’ll give her the Sportsfan Stereotype, the Out to Get Me Problem (the fans of rival teams don’t appreciate her heckling) and the Crackpot Discord (… nor does much of anyone appreciate her sacrificing black hens on the curling court to ensure home team victory).

ZELDA’S FRIEND #1: OLIVE OATLEY

Zelda and Olive met on the curling team in high school and immediately hit it off. However, while Zelda likes the sport, for Olive it’s an all-consuming passion, and she’s in a state of holy war with anyone rooting for any team but the one she coaches. As many people whose happiness is tied up with something they have no reasonable way of controlling, Olive also holds to a startling number of private superstitions (that have little to nothing to do with the sort of magic that actually does exist in Monster World).

Stereotype: Sportsfan
Problem: Out to Get Me
Discord: Crackpot

Values: Excellence, Innovation, Justice

Primary Abilities: Basic (5) Asskicking, Limited (3) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Basic (4) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (2 Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Limited (3) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (2) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (2) Volume, Basic (4) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

Pools: HP 9, GP 1, SP 5, BP 4

For Zelda’s second Friend, let’s shake things up a little and make him a fellow Monsters… and for that matter, let’s make him Zelda’s love interest. Friends aren’t necessarily platonic, after all – they can be significant others or even family members, the important thing is that the character wants to stay on good terms with them and that that is sometimes difficult.

We’ll call Zelda’s fellah Gabe Gawdhelpme and make him a Pushover – that is to say, a Werewolf, but one with a tendency to be super-timid and over-eager to please. Let’s give him the Romantic Stereotype, and the Bullied Problem and the The Ball and Chain Discord to represent the troubles the happy couple are facing.

ZELDA’S FRIEND #2: GABE GAWDHELPME

Gabe is Zelda’s on-again, off-again boyfriend. The reason for their rocky path has less to do with Gabe’s personality, which is agreeable to a fault, than with his mother, Gladys Gawdhelpme, and her intense resistance to Gabe doing anything but taking care of her in her old age. Gabe, desperately eager to please both his mother and his girlfriend, keeps drifting out of Zelda’s orbit whenever his mother is especially demanding, only to come slinking back when he spots an opening.

Stereotype: Romantic
Problem: Bullied
Discord: The Ball and Chain

Breed: Pushover

Values: Community, Tradition, Justice

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Limited (3) Dramatics, Basic (4) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Limited (3) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Basic (6) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Basic (4) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (2) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (3) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Basic (4) Respectability

Dooms: Minimal (1) Ancient’s Wisdom, Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity, Minimal (1) Titan’s Prowess

Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 5, BP 4, FP 3

Since one of Zelda’s Friends is a Monster, let’s further break with standard practice and make her Rival a standard vanilla human. We haven’t used the Parasite Approach or the Familial Feud yet, so let’s go with those, and add the Good Times Redemption for some residual feelings of kinship.

ZELDA’S RIVAL: ZACHARY ZOOM

Zelda’s lazy good-for-nothing brother doesn’t hold any animosity for her, honestly. It’s just that her frequent car crashes and similar disasters is all that distracts their parents – of whom he is dependent for his standard of living – from his disasters. As such, he is all too happy to bring attention to whatever Zelda has done wrong this time, all to get himself another few months of respite.

Approach: Parasite
Feud: Familial
Redemption: Good Times

Values: Harmony, Egalitarianism

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Limited (2) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Limited (3) Hiding, Basic (4) Keenness, Basic (6) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Basic (4) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Basic (5) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Limited (3) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Basic (5) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (6) Respectability

Pools: HP 6, GP 1, SP 2, BP 6

Finally, for an Enemy, we won’t do anything fancy. Reversing Zelda’s stats gives us a characters who’s big on keeping her eyes on stuff (since Keenness is opposed to Fitness, one of Zelda’s strong suits), so let’s go with that and give our speed demon a stern, finger-wagging disapprover: a Muckraker, which is a sort of Slayer who’s a natural moral guardian and busybody.

ZELDA’S ENEMY: EDITH CLEBB

Senior citizen Edith lives down the street from Zelda and was Called as a Slayer after being woken up from her midday nap by screeching tires one time too many. Now she’s determined to warn the entire neighbourhood about how this maniac is endangering their children and pets. Which… is perfectly fair, to be honest. Hey, Slayers are the antagonists of the game, but that doesn’t mean they’re always wrong…

Legend: Muckraker

Values: Egalitarianism, Community

Primary Abilities: Limited (2) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (3) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (6) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Minimal (1) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Limited (3) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (2) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Limited (2) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (5) Calling, Basic (5) Respectability

Pools: HP 7, GP 1, SP 3, BP 5

So that’s it! We’re two thirds of the way through now, leaving only our Moocher (commonly known as a Vampire) and our Loudmouth (politely identified as a Harpy). We’ll do the latter next – I think I’m going to make him the world’s biggest, meanest nurse…

Hello and welcome back to my series of creating pregen characters for the Monstrous Mishaps quickstart (soon at an online store near you! Assuming I can get my ass in gear, at least). Last week, we saw the genesis of mild-mannered dork Klaus Kleinmann. This time, we’re on to the Hoarder. Let’s call her Winnie Wurmstein.

Being a Hoarder (which is to say, a Dragon in human form), Winnie has to be obsessed with collecting ever more of something. I’ll say that her fascination is with artifacts related to Hauntings – not necessarily Haunted artifacts, but things that once belonged to someone who later came back as a ghost, or who was involved in mysterious goings-on of some sort. Things like that will be hard to get hold of while also being pretty much entirely useless – perfect for a Hoarder’s obsession!

Since Klaus was such a meek and unadventurous character, I want to make Winnie a lot more active and gung-ho. She’s also going to need to know a lot about ghost stories and urban legends for her hoarding. As such, I’ll start with giving her Basic (4) Asskicking and Basic (4) Weirdness, making her a sort of two-fisted occult investigator. Being cheerfully loud and perfectly able to stand up for herself, I’ll also give her Limited (3) Dramatics and Limited (3) Grit. Finally, she’s pretty active and prone to running around, and also used to doing research and going over records, so she gets Limited (2) Fitness and Limited (2) Paperpushing.

For her lifepath, I decide that Winnie was pretty over-enthusiastic even as a child (Metabolism of a Humming Bird), made a big production of things in school (Drama Club) and now runs a largely unsuccessful business dealing in occult curios (unsuccessful because obviously she can’t bear to part with her better finds…). That raises her Dramatics and Fitness to Basic (4) and her Weirdness to Basic (5). Her Breed Abilities are Keenness and Asskicking, so raise the former to Limited (2) and the latter to Basic (5).

Winnie can use the Basic power for Wyrm’s Discernment (Nose for Gold – it allows you to pinpoint which object in your vicinity is most useful to you) in her “treasure”-hunting, so let’s give her Basic (4) Wyrm’s Discernment. I could give her another point in one of her Secondary Dooms, but that’d tank her Respectability completely (the starting value is calculated from how much of a Monster you start out as – the freakier you are, the less conventionally successful you will be) and she is supposed to run a business, albeit a small business, so let’s leave it there.

Thus, she starts with Limited (3) Maze, Basic (4) Monstrosity, Basic (4) Pretension, Limited (2) Respectability. From that and her other Abilities, we can calculate her Pools as follows: Health Points 9, Grit Points 8, Stamina Points 8, Budget Points 2, Favour Points 4.

Again trying to make her different from Klaus, I’ll give her the Values of Excellence and Individualism. Winnie is competitive and runs her own race.

All in all, Winnie turns out like this:

WINNIE WURMSTEIN

Breed: Hoarder

Childhood: Metabolism of a Hummingbird
Adolescence: Drama Club
Adulthood: Woo-Woo Artist

Values: Excellence, Individualism

Primary Abilities: Basic (5) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (4) Dramatics, Limited (3) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Limited (2) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Basic (4) Hocuspocus, Minimal (1) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Basic (4) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Basic (5) Monstrosity, Basic (4) Pretension, Limited (2) Respectability

Dooms: Basic (4) Wyrm’s Discernment

Pools: HP 9, GP 8, SP 8, BP 2, FP 4

That just leaves us Winnie’s Relationships. First, to offset her love of the strange, let’s give her a Friend with the Stereotype of Bookworm and the Discord of Skeptic – he doesn’t believe in any of this supernatural nonsense, and never mind that Winnie lives in a fiery cave with a bunch of other freaks, those are clearly just special effects and frankly he’s hurt that she’d insult his intelligence with such clear fraud! But just to shake things up, we’ll give him the Problem of Occult Lightning Rod. He might not believe in magic, but magic is very attached to him and he keeps being under curses and influences that he refuses to acknowledge.

WINNIE’S FRIEND #1: JOE GRIBBELS

Winnie and Joe met when his more open-minded wife dragged him to Winnie’s store to cure a curse that gave him his own trailing rain cloud (“such a lot of fuss! It’s like she never saw a perfectly natural localised metrological phenomenon before!”). Oddly enough, he and Winnie actually hit it off, especially since he provides a steady supply of arcane mysteries for her to acquire relics of.

Stereotype: Bookworm
Problem: Occult Lightning Rod
Discord: Sceptic

Values: Excellence, Tradition

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (5) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Limited (2) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Basic (5) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Basic (4) E-Skills, Limited (3) Hocuspocus, Limited (3) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 2, BP 4

For Winnie’s second Friend, let’s create her a partner for her occult curios store. We give her the Stereotype of Party Animal, the Problem of Not Right in the Head, and the Discord of Flake, to make her as unreliable for poor Winnie as possible – but she still has to somehow coax her back to work, since the business is shaky enough as it is.

WINNIE’S FRIEND #2: LISA LUDLOCK

Lisa is Winnie’s business partner, and together they run the Awesome Artifacts & Righteous Relics store. Lisa has the eccentricity of considering herself to be in contact with her grandmother, Greta Ludlock, who dispenses sage advice. Usually the advice is that Lisa is working too hard and should go do something fun for a change, which tends to leave the already-struggling store unmanned at inconvenient hours.

Stereotype: Party Animal
Problem: Not Right in The Head
Discord: Flake

Values: Individualism

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Minimal (1) Camping, Basic (5) Dramatics, Limited (2) Fitness, Limited (3) Grit, Limited (3) Hiding, Minimal (1) Keenness, Limited (2) Mindgames, Minimal (1) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Limited (3) Schmoozing, Basic (4) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Limited (2) E-Skills, Basic (4) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Minimal (1) Joyriding, Limited (3) Lawyering, Minimal (1) Quackery, Minimal (1) Rumours, Basic (4) Trickery, Minimal (1) Understanding, Limited (3) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Basic (4) Respectability

Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 3, BP 4

For Winnie’s Rival, let’s give her a boring stick in the mud to contrast her own blithe spirit. We’ll give him the approach of Spoilsport and the Feud of Professional, and say that he’s an anal-retentive inspector who keeps trying to shut down her store for its various regulatory breaches. His Redemption can be Independence, further emphasising that he prefers things as simple and drab as possible. We’ll make him a Monster, specifically an Outcast, to give him some more (anti-) personality.

WINNIE’S RIVAL: COLIN FRUMP

Colin works as a health and safety inspector for City Hall, and has made it his life’s mission to shut down Awesome Artifacts & Righteous Relics for its owners’ blatant disregard for all that is good and bureaucratic. While not the most fearsome of adversaries, his sheer plodding persistence can be disturbingly effective.

Approach: Spoilsport
Feud: Professional
Redemption: Independence

Breed: Outsider

Values: Stoicism, Excellence

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Basic (5) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Basic (4) Grit, Minimal (1) Hiding, Basic (6) Keenness, Minimal (1) Mindgames, Limited (3) Nerdery, Basic (4) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Minimal (1) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Limited (2) Intrusion, Limited (2) Joyriding, Limited (2) Lawyering, Basic (4) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Minimal (1) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Dooms: Minimal (1) Fae’s Trickery, Minimal (1) Pariah’s Desolation, Minimal (1) Varg’s Ferocity

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Maze, Limited (3) Monstrosity, Limited (3) Pretension, Limited (3) Respectability

Pools: HP 6, GP 2, SP 2, BP 3, FP 3

Finally, Winnie needs an Enemy, and being a Dragon, what better Enemy than a Damsel? Damsels, for those who are curious, are a special type of Monster-Slayer who don’t do much actual slaying but just sort of exist to tempt Monsters into victimising them, thereby providing justification for more go-getting Slayers. Think Bella Swan, only with Edward as the target for her endless whining rather than the one thing in the world she actually likes.

Turning Winnie’s stats inside-out in the same way we did with Klaus last week, we get:

WINNIE’S ENEMY: HOLGER MINX

Holger and Winnie dated for a couple of years when they were younger, but eventually broke up due to a multitude of incompatabilities. Holger took the breakup so badly that he was Called as a Slayer on the spot, and ever since then he’s taken to hanging around and moaning eloquently about how horribly Winnie treated him, turning any soft-hearted people within hearing range against her in response.

Legend: Complainer

Values: Egalitarianism, Community

Primary Abilities: Minimal (1) Asskicking, Limited (2) Camping, Minimal (1) Dramatics, Minimal (1) Fitness, Minimal (1) Grit, Basic (4) Hiding, Limited (3) Keenness, Limited (3) Mindgames, Basic (5) Nerdery, Minimal (1) Paperpushing, Minimal (1) Schmoozing, Minimal (1) Weirdness

Derived Abilities: Limited (2) Bullshitting, Limited (3) E-Skills, Minimal (1) Hocuspocus, Basic (4) Intrusion, Limited (3) Joyriding, Minimal (1) Lawyering, Limited (3) Quackery, Limited (2) Rumours, Limited (2) Trickery, Limited (3) Understanding, Minimal (1) Volume, Minimal (1) X-Tremeness

Special Abilities: Limited (3) Calling, Basic (7) Respectability

Pools: HP 6, GP 1 (+3 from Calling), SP 2, BP 7

And that’s it! That’s the second of our six pregens finished. Join me next week, as we descend into the flaming nether regions of Hell, and stat up a Demon.